12 things other inmates are hearing from Paris Hilton

Here are 12 things other inmates have overheard Paris Hilton say in Jail:
1. Excuse me, but where is the Starbucks?
2. Is this pork chop and mashed potato stew diet?
3. Could you put those handcuffs on me again? It makes me feel like I’m in my own bed.
4. Wow. This is so like totally not like Daddy’s hotel. Big frown!
5. Can’t I have my dog here with me? He was driving drunk too!
6. Do you have anything else I can wear? This uniform makes me look so non-anorexic.
7. Wait! When I checked “no” about the conjugal visits, it was because I like TOTALLY thought it meant I had to meet with a grammar tutor.
8. Hey, why is there a bed in this disgusting little bathroom? And where is the rest of my cell?
9. You’ll silence Sarah Silverman for how much again?
10. Yes, can you tell me where I book a pedicure and a Brazilian? And would you mind if I brought in my people for it? No offense, but I would never want a stranger to see me down there!
11. Wow, so you’re like a criminal? You’re like the third one I met today!
12. Dear Mr. Diary. I’m going to write three letters to the judge and see if that helps: WTF?

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