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There’s a hilarious little list called 150 things I can’t do at Hogwarts that I just found; here are a few of my favorites (note: some of these are DEFINITELY not for kids):
1. I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their House colors indicated that they are covered with bees.
2. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steven Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.
3. Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not “an extra credit project” for herbology.
4. “I’ve heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood’s name” is not a challenge.
5. Putting up Doug Henning posters in Filch’s office is not appropriate.
6. I will not go to class skyclad.
7. The giant squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.
8. I will not use Umbridge’s quill to write “I told you I was hardcore”
9. I will stop referring to showering as “giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful”
10. Polishing my wand in the common room is acceptable; “polishing my wand” is not
11. If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a dark mark on their arm.
12. House elves are not acceptable replacements for bludgers.
13. Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year’s Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky…and not an acceptable money making concept.
14. I will not start every Potions class by asking Professor Snape if today’s project is suitable for use as a sexual lubricant.
15. “Liften, Seperatius, Crotchum” is not a real spell.
Read the rest here!