ANTM 13.01 “How Short Can You Go” & 13.02 “Early Bird Gets a Makeover” Spoilers

Babycakes is back baby! She’s got lots of great info about the first two episodes of Cycle 13 of America’s Next Top Model.

Spoilers below the jump!

Babycakes first spoiler is very long and thorough. She’s not impressed with the season thus far but tells us that:

1) Amber was the original 14th girl but was so crazy they replaced her with Lisa.

2) Ashley and Lulu are awful.

3) The first photo shoot is a high-fashion re-imagining of their baby photos.

4) Rae gets first call out.

5) Lisa is sent home. Again.

6) The next episode will possibly have 2 eliminations.

Babycakes also reveals everyone’s makeovers:

Jennifer – She has a dead eye/lazy eye and is bucky beaver, nothing special about her at all! They just condition her hair, and cut it shorter.

Rae – God, she is just beautiful! She has a little baby; was abducted and raped. They give her the Anya look and so do the eyebrows. It looks awesome on her.

Sundai – Incredible bone structure, she is really ghetto though. They give her a really short weave.

Courtney – She has a broken foot! She broke it while cheerleading but she is cute. They cut her hair shorter and made it a dark red.

Brittnay – She is a math nerd, very cute. She gets dark chocolate brown hair.

Bianca – She was abused by her ex, thats why she went bald. She just chopped it off as fresh start. Her makeover was bleached eyebrows.

Erin – Was very forgetable when I first met her, however, once she got her makeover, this girl became fierce! She also got the Anya look like Rae but this girl looks like that actress that was in American pie, the little blonde one that goes out with Chris Kline.

Kara – Is just beautiful, I would kill to have a girl with her face work for me! Her features are very STRONG, almost man like but she is really great. She just gets some frosted highlights.

Lulu – She is our gay one. She has her girls named tattooed on her chest, tacky! She gets a weave with bangs and it softens her up a lot.

Nicole – Beautiful but she is so fucking lame, she is a total Debbie Downer! They lighten her red hair and make it more carrot top red.

Ashley – is a dance school teacher. Her walk kind of reminded me of Leslie where she stuck her butt out. She is cute but she was stank. Long weave.

Rachel – She was teased and was called Bambi eyes, she is really cute though. She gets a dark brown look.

Laura – She grew up in a farm and her job is to cut the nuts off bulls? She gives details, yummy! She is just beautiful though, she has this face that is just, she made me go gaga! She also gets blonde highlights

Lisa – Just a shorter cut and she looks like Selena Gomez. Nothing really much to say about her, she was that blah!

Top Model premieres this Wednesday, September 9th at 8pm! It’s a two-hour episode.