Big Brother 9: Who the Heck Are These People, Anyway?

Tonight is the first LIVE eviction from the Big Brother house. Either Jen & Parker or Ryan & Allison will go home tonight. I don’t know which team I want to see go home more. The only one of the four that I like is Ryan. So, I guess by default that means that I want to see Jen & Parker go home.

But in preparation for the eviction, I thought I would write a few of my thoughts and observations about the houseguests. If you are easily shocked or disturbed by sexual discussions, don’t follow the jump. (But then, if that’s you, why are you even watching Big Brother this season, right?)

James – Amanda & Parker talk about James “whipping it out” all the time. Little do they know that James is all over the internet as a gay porn star. He is totally used to having his entire anatomy on video all the time. What happens when the house finds out that he is, at the very least, bi-sexual? And quite possibly gay? Will they feel betrayed because he kept it from them? I guess we’ll have to see if that happens.

Amanda – She did the most insane thing first thing in the house. She told everyone in the house just what would hurt her the most when she told them all that her father had committed suicide by hanging himself while she was in class and had her phone turned off. When she got out of class that day, she found two messages from him just before he killed himself. After a particularly loud, foul-mouthed and cruel argument with her in the back yard the other day, Chelsia said that someone needed to give her a noose. Then, Joshuah said, “Just like her father.” Yikes! I have to say that that was one of the cruelest things I’ve ever seen anyone say.

This season is definitely raunchier than any season so far. Jen & her real-life boyfriend Ryan had a “quickie” in the bathroom on Valentine’s Day. Not only that, but there’s video on YouTube of Natalie giving her partner Matt a BJ on Valentine’s Day too. Is it just me, or is that just a little too much information for people to reveal on national TV?

And then, there’s the so-called “lesbian alliance” between Sheila & Allison. And can you believe that Josh actually believed it? He’s spent days whispering that secret to people all over the house. I can’t wait to see what happens when people figure out that it’s a lie.

And let’s talk about Natalie. She keeps announcing to the others that she “hasn’t had sex in two years.” However, she openly admits that oral sex isn’t that big of a deal…since when is oral sex no longer sex? I don’t understand people who think that it’s not…but I digress.

And then there’s Parker, who seems to always be in some sort of confrontation about something with someone. Either that or he’s whining about something.

And Jen, what a blabbermouth! Why doesn’t she see that she ruined any chance she or Ryan had of making it far in the game when she admitted to everyone that they were in a relationship? What an idiot.

Ryan – I truly like the guy. He seems to be a great person and if he wasn’t in a relationship with Jen, the other girls in the house would most likely be all over him.

Matt - He’s the house womanizer. He was serviced by Natalie, but constantly tells her that he’s not interested in her. And he’s always pursuing the other women in the house. He’s a total player.

And goof-ball Adam. Do we really need to know that he’s uncircumcised? (It’s why he has the nickname of “The Hooded Warrior.”) And various organizations are upset with him and with CBS for his insensitive statement about autistic kids being “retards.” I think he should be seriously muzzled or kicked out for such a horrible statement. But the really scary thing is that he is the PR manager for a non-profit organization benefiting autistic kids. (Gee, I wonder if his boss will want to have a talk with him about this when he gets out of the house…)

Sheila is always talking about her autobiography that is in the works. She’s a former Playmate and lived in the Playboy mansion for a while. Apparently, she has a writer who will write the whole book and will get 50% of the proceeds and then she has to pay agents’ fees, etc. Gee, I don’t know, but that sounds like a pretty lopsided deal…and not in her favor. Poor thing, I hope it works out for her.

I thought Evel Dick was the penultimate BB player when he came in and scandalized the house and America with his cruel comments and iced tea dumping, but this season is only a week or so in, and it’s already surpassed any scandal we saw last season. It’s bound to get even more drama-filled as it goes along. And all the best stuff is on the live 24/7 feeds.

Don’t miss a minute of the 24/7 action in the house. Get your access to the Big Brother live internet feeds. The first two weeks are free.

_{Big Brother, big-brother, Reality TV, reality-tv, Television}