BravoFan Holiday Gift Guide: Books Written By Real Housewives

Maybe you haven’t noticed, but it’s the holidays, which means you may have to buy some presents. This is the first of a series of gift guides for the Bravo Fans in your life. In the spirit of full disclosure, the Amazon links below are affiliate links, which means I make a few cents if you buy on Amazon using my links. Let’s just say my Big Poppa can’t afford to get me the Bentley I asked for, so now I’m going to have to buy one myself. I know, way to ruin Christmas!

My first guide will be gifts for the true Real Housewives fanatic, which mostly includes books that are not out yet, so you will look kind of silly, but it’s the thought that counts?
Bethenny Frankel’s new entry in her Skinnygirl Empire is The Skinnygirl Dish: Easy Recipes for Your Naturally Thin Life. She’s also releasing The Skinnygirl Rules: For Getting and Staying Naturally Thin. All I saw in the description was that the books will teach you to “embrace thin thoughts” which is just a bummer. I now have to worry about my THOUGHTS being thin!? No one can see my thoughts! This is too stressful for me.

Image: Lisa Lovelace

Moving on, I was just about to ask my Twitter list if I should buy Vicki Gunvalson’s new literary masterpiece, More Than a Housewife but when I went to check out its Amazon page, there was a note that mentioned it was “temporarily out of stock.” Who is buying all these copies of Vicki’s magnum opus?I’m super curious about this book and have to hand it to the Insanator: rather than wait for a book deal from a publisher, Vicki published the thing herself and paid a “co-writer,” a lucky fellow named Jeff Scott. Most celebrity co-writers do this as a career, so I popped his name into the old Google and Amazon and came up with a likely culprit. Will You Be My Judas? is a Christian book in the Kindle store, also written by one Jeff Scott. Vicki has mentioned her Christian leanings before, so I could see her going with a Christian author. But honestly, I don’t know. WHO IS JEFF SCOTT, mysterious Vicki Gunvalson “co-writer?”

Switching to a different brand of crazy, Danielle Staub’s memoir,  The Naked Truth (GET IT? She was a stripper! Go-go dancer!) is available for pre-order on Amazon. There’s no book cover yet, but its release date is slated for May 4, 2010. It’ll probably coincide with the airing of Real Housewives of New Jersey’s second season. Unlike Vicki, Danielle did get a publisher for her little Great American Cocaine Memoir; it’s being backed by Simon Spotlight Entertainment.

Real Housewives of New York City Jill Zaaaarin’s co-written book with her mother Gloria and sister Lisa is yet another Amazon listed book, with a release date of April 15, 2010. This one is Secrets of a Jewish Mother: Real Advice, Real Stories, Real Love. I can’t wait to read on how to pass on your terrible attitude towards your body onto your impressionable younger daughter. That’s going to really teach me some lessons about love.

Simon Van Kempen and Alex McCord did manage to find a home for their “urban parenting guide,” Little Kids, Big City: Tales from a Real House in New York City (With Lessons on Life and Love for Your Own Concrete Jungle) also being released in April 2010. Could it be when Real Housewives of New York City’s third season airs? Wow, what a coincidence! I’m happy these crazy kids got their book deal. Dream big, you guys!

Also, see:

1. Class with the Countess: How to Live with Elegance and Flair by Countess LuAnn de Lesseps

2. In the Spirit of the Hamptons, American Style, and The Bikini Book, all by KELLY BENSIMON. Yes, she wrote THREE books.

3. Never Make the Same Mistake Twice: Lessons on Love and Life Learned the Hard Way by Nene Leakes