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The case of the Miley Cyrus bong-hit-seen-round-the-web is a curious one. Last December, a video of a newly legal Miley smoking up amongst friends found its way to TMZ. The vid caused an instant outcry from concerned parent groups and led Miley’s pop, Billy Ray, to apologize for his daughter’s uncontrollable behavior. Also? It taught at least one patrol car full of hardened NYC cops all about the joys of Salvia.
How do I know this? A few nights ago, I walked into a deli on New York’s Lower East Side and ordered a midnight snack (which, btw, was decidedly undelicious — who puts raw onions on a sandwich without asking first? Are we savages?). Three cops, all in their early 30s, were leaned up against the counter, chatting with the cashiers. They were talking about Salvia. “That’s not so weird,” you might be thinking. “Cops probably have to deal with dumb kids on Salvia all the time.”
Except they weren’t talking about arresting hopped-up boneheads or confiscating bongs, the coppers were talking about how awesome Salvia is. “It’s that stuff Miley Cyrus was smoking in that video,” one of the boys in blue said. “Turns out it’s legal — and that shit’s the best. It gets you so high!”
So what does this poetic ode to psychoactives to tell us? Besides that fact that even cops are looking for ways to almost-break the law, it shows that Miley’s influence is even more widespread than we’d thought — dun dun duuun! The concerns of parents projecting that their teenage daughters are going to seek out the nearest head shop (still a thing? Asking for a hippie) and become total potheads for life may actually be founded! If a 33-year-old man with a full-time job has the time and interest to research Miley’s drug use, high school kids are certainly going to be all up in Salvia’s business.
When the bong video first hit the Internet, we defended Miley — who, at 18, didn’t actually do anything illegal. And we still stand by the sentiment. But we do see the other side of the coin now. And we’ve concluded that if we want to save our future generations, we need to manufacture an army of plastic teen idols who are categorically incapable of ever doing anything wrong. Or: just teach people how to do drugs responsibly, already.
