Chris Brown charged with two felonies, shows up in court

Last yesterday afternoon, Chris Brown, aka “I Like to Beat Up Women and Yes, I’m a Putz” showed up in court to be charged with TWO FELONES in the assault of his girlfriend Rihanna, who, inexplicably, went back to him after being beaten to a pulp. Here’s Chris hanging his head like the dog he is:

Blech. If I wasn’t a lady, oh, the THINGS I WOULD SAY. This pimple on the butt of humanity had his arraignment postponed until April 6 on charges of assault likely to cause great bodily injury and making criminal threats, getting out scot free (and most likely going home to beat him some RiRi some more) on $50k.

If you’re still one of the folks that’s been saying he’s a good boy, he just had a slipup, etc. and blaming this on Rihanna ticking him off enough to make her look like a unicorn, well, then, I invite you to read this – a full police report of the injuries sustained against Rihanna. Among other things, the report says:

Rihanna then “turned to face Brown and he punched her in the left eye with his right hand,” says the paperwork. “He then drove away in the vehicle and continued to punch her in the face with his right hand while steering the vehicle with his left hand.”

And more:

“I’m going to beat the s— out of you when we get home. You wait and see!” Rihanna called her assistant and left a message saying, “I am on my way home. Make sure the cops are there when I get there.” The police notes say that prompted Brown to reply: “You just did the stupidest thing ever. Now I’m really going to kill you.”

And even more. At one point, he punched her in the mouth hard enough to “fill her mouth with blood”, he pulled her over to the driver’s side and started choking her until she lost consciousness, bit her ear, and on and on. It’s quite the chilling read, and I hope to God this man gets some jail time and Rihanna gets herself some frigging therapy. And maybe some karate lessons, a can of mace, and oh, I don’t know, SOME SELF-ESTEEM so she doesn’t feel like she has to put up with this kind of treatment.

image: bauer-griffin