Courtney Love is a bulimic liar. Or she just looks like one.

There’s nothing that could get me to cancel my subscription to Harper’s Bazaar faster than seeing a naked Courtney Love. Without any kind of warning, even. It’s just like KAPOW! NAKED! Plus, she actually has something to say (unfortunately it’s not about her alleged murder of Kurt Cobain so you can stop reading right now if you’re looking for that).

On her upcoming solo album Nobody’s Daughter:
“It’s the first time I’ve written sober…the first time I’ve written from a really deep, dark place.”

On her apology for wearing faux Chanel:
“I wrote Mr. Lagerfeld a letter, an in-depth apology…I offered to pay for the dress, throw him a party, do whatever I needed to do to make up for this horrific thing.”

And she continues:
“In a way, it’s insanely subversive, because I don’t think anyone has done fake couture before. But honest to God, I did not know. I hope it was burned.”

On Karl Lagerfeld:
“I really connected with Karl in a way that I didn’t think I was going to…from the ponytail to the image and the persona, I didn’t think we were going to click, but I ended up genuinely and sincerely liking the man.”

On the fashion world’s feelings toward her:
“The fashion world, they don’t trust me anymore…and why should they? I looked like crap for years…I didn’t know what a season was. Someone had to explain it to me.”

On her weight loss:
“I’ve lost a lot of weight, and I have done it through being quite disciplined… Some people think it’s about weight loss, but it’s about detoxing.”

On some actresses’ dieting habits:
“I hate reading magazines where the actresses are saying ‘Broccoli and fish, broccoli and fish.’ You liars. You bulimic liars.”

On her look in 1994 when she was interviewed by Barbara Walters:

“I pulled my hair up into what I thought was a chignon, and I just had eyeliner on, basically. Did you ever see Matt Lauer and Britney Spears? Well, I was more Grand Guignol than that. More horror show.”

On her troubled past:
“I cracked. And I cracked in public, and so I lost all of my credibility. For many years, I took pills. I felt like I had this dirty secret. Other people can have glasses of wine and things like that because they’re normal people who can do things like that. But if you’re allergic to that stuff, you just are, and you can’t.”

Well, while they were photoshopping the HELL out of here, they should at least have photoshopped a bikini or a blouse or SOMETHING that would’ve saved me from having to bleach my eyeballs tonight.

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