Crushable Quotable: Gwyneth Paltrow’s Cookbook Is Creepy

My boyfriend has a really weird moan that he does whenever he eats something good or takes a shower. It really skeeves me out, and if he does it in public, other people have a tendency to mock him. This is why if my children ever write a cookbook – the way Blythe Danner‘s over-achieving daughter Gwyneth Paltrow is currently doing – I will make sure to have them include their father’s weird noises as part of a delicious recipe!

From My Father’s Daughter:
“I can still hear [my father] over my shoulder, heckling me, telling me to be careful with my knife, moaning with pleasure over a bite of something in the way only a Jew from Long Island can, his shoulders doing most of the talking.”