Dear Katy Perry, You Are Officially Trying Too Hard

Apparently worldwide musical domination and a marriage to Russell Brand just isn’t enough for Katy Perry. Like many pop stars, she has branched out into acting. Most of the time – Gwen Stefani‘s blink-or-you’ll-miss-it role in The Aviator, Faith Hill‘s don’t-even-blink-because-you-already-missed-it cameo in the Stepford Wives remake – these attempts at crossing over are ordinary at best and embarrassing at worst. And yet that doesn’t stop anyone from doing them.

Katy Perry originally tried to become famous as a Christian singer, under her real name Katy Hudson. When that didn’t work, she switched tacks, dipped herself in candy, and reinvented herself as a mainstream pop star. It worked, and she has a string of hit singles and a giant pile of money to show for it. But now she is branching out into movies. Katy’s first movie is The Smurfs, and she doesn’t even appear in it – she voices the animated Smurfette. But just because her face isn’t in the movie doesn’t mean that she isn’t going to take every advantage to remind everybody that she’s a big famous movie star now. Exhibit A: This picture.

Hey Katy, I know it’s been awhile since you were in high school, but there was this thing I had a major case of when I was about sixteen. It was called trytooharditis. And I think you have it. We know you’re in the movie. You’re at the premiere! Your name is on the poster! If I look up the movie on IMDB, your name is there. So the fact that you stretched out Smurfette’s body, ironed it onto a Latex dress like it’s a fucking shrinky dink or something, and wore it to the movie premiere? Overkill. And the blue shoes and the blue eyeshadow and blue earrings on top of that? I GET IT. YOU ARE IN THE SMURF MOVIE. DIAL IT DOWN ALREADY. Might I offer you a point of comparison?