Dolly Parton IS NOT DEAD, OKAY?

There was a big rumor going around this weekend – a false, nasty rumor – that beloved country icon Dolly Parton had passed on to the big Dollywood in the sky.

THIS RUMOR IS NOT TRUE.

First of all, Dolly is alive and kicking. Second, she will never die because the world simply would not be a good place without her. Seriously. I love Dolly Parton to bits. Every thing she’s ever done, even The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, is like solid gold with chocolate filling. It’s that good.

Let’s have a little Dolly song to keep the happy feelings going: