Elton John will make you GAY!

Look at him, all shifty eyed. He’s throwing out the gay vibe, you know he is.

SIR Elton John could be banned from performing on a Caribbean island — as he might tempt locals to become GAY.

The star, 59, is due to play an April jazz festival in Tobago, where homosexuality is widely condemned.

Archdeacon Philip Isaac said: “His visit can open the country to be tempted towards pursuing his lifestyle. He needs to be ministered to.”

But festival organiser Anthony Maharaj said: “He is coming as one of the world’s greatest performers — not to preach about what lifestyle people should have.”

So who knew? Going to a concert apparently makes you gay. I have one Elton  John record, maybe that’s the reason behind why I am tempted to kiss other girls, wear a mullet, and try on many, many sleveless plaid flannel shirts. OR MAYBE PEOPLE ARE JUST IGNORANT ASSCLOWNS. I’m going with that second one.

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