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[All Photos: © 2008 VH1]
With the big reunion episode coming up, here’s the final Flavor of Love regular episode recap, for anyone who missed all the delicious excitement. Apparently, there was so much excitement that Flav fell asleep!
Check it out!
With Thing 2 back in the competition, Sinceer is obviously not happy. Her sulk looked like the deepest funk ever. She seemed a bit speechless in front of her, which was a little disappointing. She does mouth off under her breath a bit.
“So, you happy I’m here, Sinceer?” asks Thing 2. Ha! Love it. Sinceer is kind of quiet, just muttering something about the fact that she didn’t throw Thing 2 under the bus. Thing 2 knows what scares her. Thing 2 has from the very beginning. Don’t give her any help, she knows too much already.
In the hotel, Thing 2 blasts away to Black about her problems with Sinceer.
[Photo: © 2008 VH1]
At breakfast, Flav holds up two tickets, and explains that he has three tickets. At first glance, we wonder about the man’s math, remembering that’s not why we love him. He has one to Paris, one to Monaco, and one to L.A.
Flav gives Thing 2 the ticket to Paris. Wow! What a comeback! That’s amazing. Eliminated once, then a comeback. Now, she gets the seemingly choicest of dates with Flav! [You go, Girl! You go! Then, you come back again! Then you kick some butt!]
[Photo: © 2008 VH1]
Sinceer and Black, left to fight it out for non-elimination. Sinceer is “there for Flav.” Okay. Then, they each give their reasons why the other one is so horrible. Flav reveals, though, that it all comes down to what counts: Sinceer is mean, and Black is hot. Sinceer is out the door. This is some deep humanification, or something like that. So, bye-bye, Sincere!
Black and Flav wing off to Monaco, very quickly, leaving Thing 2 and Sinceer –on her way out the door- have an awkward, half heart-to-heart, half subdued mental cat-fight, farewell.
[Photo: © 2008 VH1]
Black and Flav take to Monaco in a horse-drawn carriage. Flav is so excited, he snuggles up to her, and falls asleep, on Black’s left breast. [Lesson Number Two for any of you girls out there, who are seeking a man, and who have paternity issues.]
Flav promises a special dinner for Black. She seems a whole lot more excited about this than her face in the carriage would have made me expect. She was looking very put out.
Black tells the camera that this has been the “most romantical” day of her life. She demonstrates, here, that higher education in America is no barrier to picking up a little Flav-speak.
At dinner, Flav gives Black a watch, then begins his list of questions. When he asks what she does for fun, she answers, “Traveling.” Flav is drooling as she tells some of her past destinations. She’s educated, she travels, she’s “hot”.
Feat number two: Tell Flav a joke. Everybody knows at least one joke. Sometimes, though, you can’t come up with one. This was definitely Black’s problem. She gives up on that one, “I’ve heard some jokes but I can’t, like, think of them.” Too bad, because, I believe, Flav would have accepted just about anything: two sentences, accented as if they were a joke; pull my finger. Seriously. She should have said anything.
[Photo: © 2008 VH1]
Flav was disappointed. In his chat with the camera, he made it sound like he had a short list of all the things his perfect woman would have, and this one was missing the most important one. Then…
Whatev! She’s smokin’! So, hey! I’ll treat your son like my own. She’s touched, so they makeout in his room. They spare us the later developments.
The next day, Thing 2 and Flav fly off to Paris. Paris weather is a bit gloomy and cold, that day.
As they travel around Paris, Flav turns on the sweet but goofy, and gives her a huge buttload of flowers.
Flav shows up to dinner in a “funky-fresh” [I hope she meant crazy ***, when she said that], purple suit, and gives Thing 2 a watch. Another nice touch, apparently.
Then, on to the inquisition:
Fun: eating, amusement parks, and bowling. [Date movie date waiting to happen.]
Jokes: She digs out two jokes. [Maybe she was making up for Black's lost joke.] The first was a not an incredibly old joke – “Get off me, homes!” The second was from the bowels of history: “Dat nacho cheese!” That one is from the early eighties, at the very latest.
Two jokes had to bea huge bonus for Flav. Maybe it helps that one of them is older than his fame, if not older than himself.
Then comes the big hit of the night. Flav invites Thing 2 for a nightcap. She says, “No.” He can’t believe it. He tells the camera that that’s the first time in the history of Flavor of Love that anyone has refused a nightcap. Good for her!
At elimination, it’s very tense. Flav has not really given us –at least not in the edited part that we see- enough to guess what he’s going to do.
Thing 2 tells the camera that she hopes Flav is “smart enough to choose someone with a big heart instead of bigger boobs.” This episode, she really showed a lot more heart than Black. I don’t think Black was at her best on this one.
In her case for why Flav should choose her, Black’s “what we have goin’ on is real” argument feels a little flat. She didn’t seem to have much fight left, and her motivation was running pretty low. To me it was just a pat answer, like, if you just asked any random person to say why two people should be together. It wasn’t as personal as it could have been. Honestly, though, Flav hadn’t ever really shown any deep interest in her. The only thing he really saw in her was that she was “hot”. So, at this point, neither she nor Flav seemed to be fanning the other’s flames.
Thing 2, however, seemed very moved by having been around Flav. She even looked genuinely touched by having had the opportunity to go to France, because of Flav and the show.
Despite Flav’s lack of eloquence about why the decision was hard, he managed to choose…
Thing 2.
Black, well, went home. I think she may have felt a little loss, because she didn’t win, but I don’t think she really wanted that prize, once it came down to it.
Flav gives Thing 2 a box. Inside is… gold teeth. Well… um…
After the reunion, it’s the end of Flavor of Love.
Who did you want to win? Black? Thing 2? One of the earlier booted women? Will they last longer than Flav’s last three girlfriends made on TV?