Gallery: A Guide to Literary Mashups We Wish Someone Would Write

France may have invaded Russia in 1812, but the French cheated: They had a tricky coven of witches on their side. Follow the lives of five Russian aristocratic families as they attempt to navigate the murky waters of the Napoleonic Wars-- witchcraft and all.

Wealthy Alec d'Urberville's sinister attraction to the poverty-stricken Tess is more than it seems: Rumors have been abounding in the villages that the d'Urbervilles are in fact an ancient family of vampires. Will Tess fall prey to the family's blood-sucking ways?

Young Stephen Dedalus has one wish, and one wish only: To grow into the artist he knows he can be. Trouble is, Stephen is a robot, and everybody knows robots don't have the capacity to make art... or do they?

When Catherine Morland first arrives in Bath, she has every expectation that it will be a wonderful summer full of new friends and romantic possibilities. Unfortunately, though, her wonderful summer is not to be, because the dead keep insist on rising and interrupting it. It looks like a necromancer is at work in Northanger Abbey!

Plucky young governess Jane Eyre knows that something is off in Mr. Rochester's house, and she's determined to find out what it is. Ghouls? Ghosts? Long-legged beasties? None of them are a match for Jane Eyre, Ghost Hunter!

An early draft of Elizabeth Gaskell's classic novel about a girl from the South of England forced to move to the bitter North has recently been unearthed. In it? Ninjas! Will Margaret Hale and John Thornton realize their true love? Or will the Ninjas of the North forever bar them from each other?

Becky Sharp may have been dealt an unfortunate hand in life, but she'll be damned if she's going to lie down and take it. Luckily, she's got the powers of voodoo on her side to help her climb all the way to the top.

A party to prepare for, a dragon to feed... It's all part of a day in the life of Clarissa Dalloway.

When orphan Mary Lennox is sent to her uncle's foreboding mansion in Yorkshire to live, she quickly realizes that the house is full of secrets. Who is that strange boy she sees out on the moors? Why do mysterious sobs echo through the halls at nigh? At what are those eerie moans she keeps hearing coming from the old walled-up garden?

You know what makes the French Revolution crazy? Werewolves. That's what.

Anne Shirley was thrilled when she was adopted by Marilla and Matthew Cuthbert. She was even more thrilled when she found an alien hiding in Avonlea.

Buck, meet Cthulhu. Cthulhu, meet Buck. Now run free in the wild, wild, wilderness!