Gallery: Kat Von D And Jesse James Are Irrationally Pleased With Themselves

Nothing wrong with that, besides the intrinsic "ick" factor of watching two aging bikers play tonsil hockey...

Ugh, see that? These two have to make sure there's an audience of at least two desperate paparazzi before they start smooching. Nothing staged here, folks!

Michael Jackson.

Then again, maybe we would be to, if we had somehow long-conned the world into thinking we actually contributed to society and were worth paying attention to.

What isn't attractive about an elderly cheater with a fetish for racists? You know what I think of when I see Jesse James? Security.

Actually, Jesse's starting to look bored already. Good luck Kat!