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When correctly summoned, the magical pickle fairy, codename "Snooki", will turn any food she touches into a pickle. This pickle will be entirely inedible.
Hipster Matt Damon scoffs at you. He will also make you sprout a pair of large-framed glasses and a moustache at a single touch.
Angelina Jolie possesses the curious ability to magnetically attract any small children within a five-mile radius. Come to me, little ones!
There is a documented superuseless superpower known as Telekinnearsis, wherein one has the ability to move one object with their mind, and one object only: actor Greg Kinnear. Less well-known is the condition of Reverse Telekinnearsis, wherein Greg Kinnear can then move anyone who attempts to move him, provided he can identify them and has direct line of sight.
Motha of Teen Mom's Jenelle, Bahbarah Evans can completely erase the existence of the lettah"'R" at will.
When correctly summoned, the magical pickle fairy, codename "Snooki", will turn any food she touches into a pickle. This pickle will be entirely inedible.
Any shirt that touches Taylor Lautner immediately self-destructs, leaving his torso remarkably unscathed.
Give this power to your favorite mild-mannered little girl and watch her morph into the terrifying teenage disaster that is Taylor Momsen!
Getting too close to Lindsay Lohan may result in a zap that erases your memory of what happened five minutes ago.
Rupert Grint harnesses the mysterious power of the Ginger. We don't really know what it does. But it is a mighty power indeed.
No one really knows WHY Heidi Montag is famous, and yet, somehow, she just is. This may be relatively useful for her, but it's amazingly useless for the rest of us.
Justin Bieber somehow manages to look completely inoffensive while engaging in offensive behavior. How on earth does he do it?
Not unlike Self-Destructing Shirt Man, the Pantsless Wonder, aka Lady Gaga, constantly emits a sound that resonates at too high a frequency for human ears to hear. This resonance causes any pair of pants that approaches her legs to fly a dramatic 3 miles away. So if you've ever been hit by a flying pair of pants without warning, now you know why.
They are a strange force all their own. We have yet to figure out exactly why they seem to able to open as many doors as they do (literally and figuratively). Any ideas?
