Hasselhoff to the ER, Stat!

Apparently David Hasselhoff takes his shaving needs a bit seriously and cut himself wide open. He was shaving in a gym (?) and SEVERED A TENDON IN HIS ARM, then decided to really go for it and hit his head on a FREAKING CHANDELIER, which further cut the Hoff into bite-sized pieces. And for further fun with the Hasselhoff, I present his tour de force video: