"I've Never Been Marcused" Recap, Episode 2.02

We start where we left off last week… Blair is smitten with the idea of royalty, Chuck can’t commit and Serena and Dan aren’t sure what to think about their relationship.

Of course, they know what to think a little… they woke up on the beach together after what was clearly a hook-up. Serena is “confused” as is Dan and she’s not talking to Blair about it.

As for Blair, she wants to know what James/Marcus is up to… But he’s being vague. It’s a perfect time for Chuck to make his move – so he does. He befriends James/Marcus while Blair is gone and makes a date to play squash. Blair is not amused.

Nate talks to his mother about his father. The federal prosecutors have considered the flight from charges as an admission of guilt. They are attaching their assets.

James/Marcus calls his stepmother, the Duchess, who is… Catherine! Oh yeah, Nate’s summer fling is the Duchess.

Serena and Dan flirt on the bus home. They’re both clearly having difficulty dealing with the “let’s not make out” policy that they established. So, they cave and have sex in the loo on the bus (okay, sorry, soooo not sexy – have you ever been in one of those?).

Blair is desperate to wiggle into James/Marcus’ life. She throws an impromptu party to keep him in her sights.

(Eke, apologies to those of you who inadvertently got half of a recap… I wasn’t paying attention to the computer – I was glued to the TV and totally hit the wrong button!)

Vanessa redecorates in time to show off for Rufus’ return (um, a little weird, huh?).

Nate returns home to find the FBI making an inventory of his possessions. He is clearly upset and calls a friend to talk. I assume it’s Catherine but it’s not – it’s Vanessa. Wha-huh? Nate’s mother gets a loan from a “family friend” but won’t tell Nate the details.

Dorota helps Blair plan a party. She’s a little upset about the “high school” guest list. Um, Blair? You’re in high school. But clearly, I digress…

Chuck meets with the Duchess to discuss James/Marcus. He is, of course, awed by her – and clearly, a little intrigued.

Blair’s party starts off without a hitch (yowza on the dress, Serena). Dan and Marcus are introduced at Blair’s party since Dan enjoys football – but they don’t appear to hit it off. Chuck also makes an appearance at the party, together with the Duchess. Blair insults her first without knowing who she is – and regrets it immediately after. Serena begs her to apologize, so she does, and she just makes it worse… It gets even better when Nate shows up.

Ewwwwwwwwww. Is anyone else getting a horrible, terrible vibe from the Vanessa/Rufus dialogue? It feels awkward and creepy.

Nate finds out who the family friend who loaned the money to his mother was… Chuck Bass. He sold the burlesque club to loan the Archibalds the money. Nate is not grateful – in fact, just the opposite.

Serena and Dan make out at Blair’s party and are found by Nate. He could care less because Catherine (the Duchess) paged him. He tries to break it off with her but he can’t… she comes onto him. She also offers to help him with his family’s financial problems.

Rufus checks voice mail. Jenny leaves a message and Rufus realizes how much he misses her. He sees Dan’s notes and realizes that he misses Dan, too. How will this affect his bug to go back on the road? I think we know the answer…

Dorota sends Blair to the library to find the Duchess. She does – with Nate. Hello! This is just the moment that Blair needed. The Duchess, of course, retreats on her course of belittling Blair and tells Marcus that she’s a delight.

Blair and Chuck have a conversation. It did not go as Chuck hoped. They spar (of course).

After all of the drama, Nate calls Vanessa to stand her up.

All is back to normal (?).

–

What did you think?