Skip to content
Wed, May 21 2008

Jessica Alba and Cash Warren are married

A very pregnant Jessica Alba finally married her baby daddy Cash Warren on Monday. Congrats to the happy couple, blah blah blah.

Seriously, with a name like Cash, don’t you expect him to whip out a banjo and start singing into a whiskey jug? Maybe wear a pair of denim suspenders with one strap unhooked, a wife beater underneath, leather work boots with no laces and the tongues flapping all over the place? I’m thinking that for a wedding gift, Jessica could buy a couple of ratty old couches down at the Goodwill and put ‘em on their front porch so they can better see all the hawgs and chickens they’re a’gonna raise.

Around The Web
Share This Post:
  • email
  • Facebook
  • StumbleUpon
  • Tumblr
  • Reddit
Entertainment

Comments

  1. By Wendy

    Huh, well, I didn’t say anything about this being a specifically Southern insult. It’s just a general non-geographic insult.

    But I’m lovin’ the Designing Women quote – seriously that is one of my favoritest shows EVER!!!! :>)

  2. By Proud Southerner

    Personally offended by that statement (and I am not easily offended and love you) but I am a southern and I have never put a “ratty old couch from Goodwill on my front porch so they can better see all the hawgs and chickens” and as Julia Sugarbaker once said and I quote “I have been a Southerner all my life, and I can vouch for the fact the we do eat a lot of things down here…….. and we’ve certainly all had our share of grits and biscuits and gravy, and I myself have probably eaten enough fried chicken to feed a third world country —- not to mention barbecue, cornbread, watermelon, fried pies, okra, and ………..yes………if I were being perfectly candid, I would have to admit we have also eaten our share of crow, and for all I know — during the darkest, leanest years of the Civil War, some of us may have had a Yankee or two for breakfast. But……….. speaking for myself and hundreds of thousands of my Southern ancestors who have evolved through many decades of poverty, strife, and turmoil, I would like for Mr. Weaks to know that we have surely eaten many things in the past, and we will surely eat many things in the future, but — God as my witness – — we have never, I repeat, NEVER EATEN DIRT!!!”

    Please stop making such negative comments about southerners!! Apparently the south has become the new punchline and I for one have had it!!!!!!!!!