Morning gossip roundup

Ashton Kutcher switches from a ~~miserable failure of an~~ promising acting career to coaching football – The Superficial

No matter good her cleavage is, Jessica Simpson still can’t sing – Hollywood Tuna

Victoria Beckham is turning into a boy. A boy with huge implants – A Socialite’s Life

The Jonas Brothers react to Russell Brand’s teasing at the VMA’s – Perez Hilton

Pete Wentz and Russian Roulette? Yeah, maybe Twister – Dlisted