No, Brad and Angelina did NOT get married this weekend

Contrary to a TON of rumors swirling around this weekend, Brad Pitt and Angelina did NOT get married. All the big tabloids – Star, Enquirer, etc. – reported that they had “sources” that confirmed the two had gotten hitched, but of course, we know that’s not true. Besides, they both have famously said that they won’t even consider getting married until everyone in this country can get married to the person they love. So there you have it! No wedding bells for Brangelina, which means Brad is still free for me. Oh, he knows it’s inevitable. One day he’s going to realize that our love is just too strong for him to withstand.