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Mon, Jun 30 2008

No Madonna divorce! Nope! Nothing to see here! Move along!

Dear Public People Who Buy All My Shizznit And Keep Me In Fresh Botox:

You might have heard a few rumors that my lackey husband and I are getting divorced. Nothing could be further from the truth! We are soulmates, people! WE COMPLETE EACH OTHER. It’s just that simple. Plus, we have 3 kids, and we are GOOD PARENTS. We have a LOVING MARRIAGE. Everything is just FINE.

Guy’s alcoholic control freak mother, Lady Something or Other, had this to say about us. She’s so nice. I love my mother in law. I DO. Happy, happy, happy!

“They are no different to most other couples and we all know that being together can be hard sometimes and marriages are not always a bed of roses,” she told the Mail on Sunday. “I’ll say it one more time, they are not getting divorced; the speculation is TT – that’s total tosh.”

See? TT, love! That’s how we English people say stuff. We’re very posh over here on the other side of the pond. And happy! Did I mention we’re happy? Floating in happiness! Sloshing around in it! So much happy it’s coming out of our pores!

Love, Madonna

P.S. Happy!

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