Parenting Lessons From ‘Teen Mom 2′: It’s Time To Get Off The Couch

Last night on Teen Mom 2, our new moms were waffling over where they were living, whether they have custody of their kids and if they want to continue dealing with their deadbeat baby daddies. Actually, it was a little bit hard to figure out if this way a new episode. No matter! Let’s dive in.

Chelsea is in a sea of freeloaders

This week’s episode starts off at Chelsea Houska‘s house. Let’s just cut the shit right now – maybe Chelsea shouldn’t be punished forever for having a baby, but her dad is enabling her with the sweet pad she lives in for free. And now she’s got a friend who’s not paying rent. And a boyfriend in the same boat.  The model boyfriend Adam is pissed about Megan being a freeloader, as if he is actually paying rent and not just mooching off of Chelsea’s dad and the limelight of MTV as well.  Does anyone else think it’s weird he showed up after filming started? Something smells fishy to me…

Especially when he becomes a grade-A douche this episode, walking away when Megan sits down on couch, muttering that the girls are brain-dead.  Chelsea tries to remain chipper, despite the fact that she and her friend were just insulted by her boyfriend.  Adam is pissed because Megan hasn’t paid rent, so he won’t pay rent. So the only person left to pay rent is Chelsea’s dad.  Naturally.

At one point, Adam sensitively answers the question of Megan’s whereabouts with, “Hopefully she’s dead…What, she’s a bitch?”  This is the same guy who referred to his daughter as a mistake and called Chelsea a “fat stretch-mark bitch.”  Classy.

Eventually Megan moves out. And gets in a fight with Adam as she’s leaving. Chelsea’s father tells Adam he has to pay rent. Adam’s saccharine smile reveals how elated he must have felt burning ants with a magnifying glass as a child. News flash: you look like a 12-year-old boy wearing temporary tattoos, so do us all a favor and put a shirt on.

Jenelle Still Hasn’t Hit Rock Bottom

After allegedly smoking pot while pregnant, Jenelle Evans has managed to become a horribly apathetic mother. Jenelle waxes poetic about potentially missing Jace’s birthday, but makes no attempt to improve the situation.  She shows up at her school’s financial aid office, looking like one of the People of WalMart and boring the financial aid counselor with her petty fights with her mother. The counselor doesn’t care and tells Jenelle she needs her mother’s signature, pronto. Janelle leaves this news on her mother’s voicemail.

Janelle hands in her mother’s signed forms, and appears at her mother’s door.  ”What are you doing here?” Janelle’s mother, Barbara demands.  ”I want to see Jace,” Janelle replies.  Why else would she be there?

Janelle thanks her mother for signing the financial aid forms, while her mother butchers the English language, and stumbles on difficult words, like “I won’t hold you back from going to school” and “So, where ya staying?”

Jenelle marvels at Jace walking and is then informed that he’s been walking for a week. It’ s painful to see Jace withholding affection as Jenelle picks him up, almost as if the two are strangers. He clearly feels more at ease with his grandmother, who he is with most of the time.

Later at Jace’s birthday party, Barbara bosses Jenelle around and criticizing her like she murdered someone. This is clearly not moving in the direction of Jenelle winning back custody, since Barbara never lets Jenelle learn anything about parenting and Jenelle seems happier being stoned than acting like a parent.