Parenting Lessons from ‘Teen Mom 2′: No, Not Everybody Is a Cheater

"We've been together ever since we started dating," the wise philosopher Kieffer Delp and his new haircut say at the beginning of the episode. Wow, that's deep. I think he means that he and Jenelle have spent all their time together, which is true, but now the cruelty that is fate - or Jenelle's mom Barbara and the fact that Kieffer and Jenelle are homeless and unemployed - is now keeping them apart.

So, back to Barbara's house. They have a cat! An orange one! Have we ever seen this cat before? At least Jace will have someone to hang out with when his mom bails yet again. Jenelle makes a reference to "babysitting" her son. I was about to go all Chris Rock and remind her that you can't babysit your own kid, but since she gave up custody is Jace even technically her kid anymore? She's basically a glorified babysitter who just so happens to be related to Jace. I mean, this is a girl who thinks a road trip to Jersey is a romantic getaway. She clearly doesn't watch any other shows on the network.

Kailyn and Jo decide to meet up in a parking lot, since their town apparently lacks coffee shops or public parks. Jo comments on the beautiful day outside and then tells Kail that she doesn't deserve to enjoy it and "should be in a cave." I kind of want to hate Jo for that, but Kail and her lying bug me so much that I'm almost on his side. Actually, I'm on Janet's side. And Isaac's, the poor thing. It's very uncool for Jo to call Kail a whore, but he does make some excellent points otherwise: she gets home late, she spends time with her boyfriend instead of her kid, and she was dishonest.

It's too bad Kail and Jenelle don't live near each other - they're both homeless or on the verge of being homeless, so they could share expenses and do kind of a Practical Magic/Howard's End-type thing where they help raise each others' kids. Instead of pursuing that option, Kail moves back in with her mom after a very staged scene with Jordan. And then in this week's installment of "Kailyn Gets Free Shit from People Who Don't Even Seem to Like Her," Jo's brother agrees to babysit Isaac for awhile. Later, Kailyn sends her mom Suzi over to the Riveras' house to pick up her stuff and she and Janet start to argue. Because Kailyn is a total chickenshit who lets other people fight her battles for her, she sits outside in the car instead of going in. I want Jo and Kail to go on Judge Judy. She would not take any of Kail's whining or Jo's namecalling, and she'd make them settle their differences, plus she'd yell at them. Wait, can we get Judge Judy to host the reunion show instead of Dr. Drew? I'd buy tickets to that. She would murder every single dude on this show except for Corey, and then make Byrd clean up.

Ali is the sweetest baby in the world, and she looks so cute in her pink glasses. I'm really rooting for Leah and Corey to make it. There's a part of me that is annoyed with her for spending time and money on a fancy wedding dress when she clearly has other expenses to worry about, but she deserves happiness and MTV is probably paying for it. (If only they could have done some inter-network magic and gotten her on Say Yes to the Dress - I would have DIED to see Corey interact with Randy.)

A serious question, though - what is it with women on this show and two-tone hair? Leah's hair has been switching all season (probably due to stuff being edited out of order) from blonde to blonde/brown, and sometimes it's part straight and part curly. Now Leah's mom's hair has apparently caught the same disease, because she's rocking a half-scrunched, half-straight look, and it's a mess. Though she's kept a lower profile than some of the other parents this season, I think Leah's mom seems cool, and she deserves better hair than that. Farrah Abraham's mom, though? Put that on her head.

As for Ali's diagnosis, it's frustrating that we still have no idea what's wrong with her. I think Leah needs to guest star on a very special episode of House. Masters and Leah would become BFF and nuzzle each other in the hallway while talking about truth and beauty, Taub would insist it's sarkoidosis no matter the symptoms, and Chase would ask Leah if she had any hot friends.

Chelsea announces that she and Professional Waste of Space Adam Lind got into a fight recently about her trust issues. Here's the thing: if you've been cheated on in the past and are taking out your past insecurities on a new partner regardless of their behavior, then you have trust issues. If your loser boyfriend has admitted to cheating on you and then you take him back but are still insecure about him being around other women, you have an Adam problem.

Chelsea's friend Tiffany, who also has a baby, comes over to hang out. I think it's good that some of the girls on this show are friends with other young moms - it keeps them from being isolated and helps them spend time with a peer. (That said, I could be wrong - look how the whole Megan Nelson fiasco ended.) And Tiffany is like mirror-Chelsea: they both have the same weird chocolate-vanilla-swirl-ice-cream hair, ripped jeans, and hot pink clothes. But Tiffany's baby is a boy, so they decide that he and Aubree are going to get OMGMARRIED someday.

It looks like the "storyline" of Chelsea "earning" her "GED" is still going strong. I get the sense that she was supposed to be this season's Farrah - with the leopard print accessories and whiny voice - but this GED storyline is turning her into the Amber. I don't think she's ever going to make it to "hair school." Especially since her own hair is apparently allergic to being brushed.

Perhaps Adam has been reading some of Aubree's books, because he seems to have confused "Everybody Poops" with "Everybody Cheats." Specifically, that is what he cites as his reason for cheating on Chelsea. Showing a rare moment of insight, she responds "No, everybody doesn't cheat" and kicks Adam out of the house. I doubt it'll last, but it's still a good moment for her.