Patricia Arquette on Jay Leno

Did you see Patricia Arquette on Jay Leno Monday night? I got all discombobulated with my Tivo and recorded the wrong program. So if you recorded it and are savvy with video and can get Patricia Arquette’s segment up on YouTube (my that is a lot of and’s isn’t it?), please send me the link and I will feature your video here. Then tell me where to send the chocolate.

So did you watch it? I had no idea Patricia Arquette was so, um…safety conscious. Jay asked her if she has started her Christmas shopping yet and she said she is thinking about solar-powered cell phones because, you know, the sun always shines in California so your phone will always be charged, even if The Big One hits.

Then Jay asked what you do when all the cell phone towers fall down in the earthquake.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Patricia said she never thought of that and cracked herself up almost to the point of tears, like you do when you have methodically worked out a problem to its logical conclusion only to discover you are COMPLETELY WRONG.

Patricia said she is so obsessed with safety she asked her husband Thomas what he would do if he got locked in the truck of the car (does this happen a lot in L.A?) She then proceeds to tell him how you are supposed to punch out the taillight from the inside and stick your fingers (or your whole hand, if it will fit) outside so people will see that someone is trapped in the trunk and alert the police.

Then Jay told her cars have come equipped with a safety latch inside the trunk for ten years now.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

These two should go on the road. Patricia just lobs those softballs up there and Jay keeps hitting them out of the park.

My favorite part was the story of how Thomas Jane proposed to her. He took her to a silent movie, because she loves silent movies, and went to get popcorn after they were seated. The movie started while he was gone and she thought, “Huh. The waiter on the screen looks just like Thomas.” As she is sitting there thinking how remarkable their resemblance is, she sees the words “Patricia will you marry me?” up on the screen and realizes that is Thomas in the silent film. She immediately starts looking around and yelling (in a darkened theatre no less), ‘Yes! Yes! I will marry you! Where are you?”

I am a sucker for sappy romantic stories like that.

Then there was the bit that prompted Jay to say, “Cat’s don’t do anything now. You want it to do less?” And the part where Patricia describes her car as more like a terrarium for snails and other lower life forms than a passenger vehicle.

Oh god, please please someone tell me you recorded it.

Tags: interview, jay leno, medium, medium nbc, patricia arquette, tonight show