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Patricia Arquette appeared on The Ellen Degeneres Show Tuesday for Ellen’s Halloween Special. I wish I could show you a picture of Patricia’s costume because words cannot fully convey the horror. Or perhaps “disturbing” is a better word. It was an excellent costume, don’t get me wrong. It was just…well, wrong.
Patricia came as a half man/half woman. The female half wore a skirt with pumps and pantyhose and had loose blond bobbed hair. Very nice. The male half wore trousers with dark, slicked back hair and half a mustache. The kind of tiny, almost-mustache grown by small-framed men to prove they are indeed men and not just tall, skinny boys. I kept getting the urge to reach out and poke it back into place because it looked like it wanted to come off her face.
To complete the Halloween weirdness, Patricia pulled a pair of men’s tighty-whities out of her trousers and tossed them into the audience. She was clearly having a grand old time.
Ellen was hilarious as she tried to stay in character as her evil twin sister Sabrina (Bewitched, anyone?) but kept forgetting to keep up the accent and talk about herself in the third person. She would get excited and say in her regular voice, “Last time you were on the show, you told me about blah blah blah…” Then half way into the next sentence, she would catch herself and say in Sabrina’s accent, “When I said you told me last time you were on the show, of course I meant you told my sister.” And then give a simpering laugh that sent chills down my spine.
One day I shall master my Tivo / Wireless Network interface and bring you Instant! Photos! Now! of the things I see on TV. Videos, too. But for now you must settle for mere words.
It must be hard being you.
Tags: medium, medium nbc, patricia arquette, ellen degeneres
I dig the She-Man costume idea!! Let’s play dress up. Ellen is a riot. You know… I saw her at the studio last monday when Napolean Dynamite (don’t know his real name), and Ted Danson were on. She is a tiny mini little thing. I danced with her you know, AND won a tshirt. Twas a wonderful day.
No. Way. You went to see Ellen? I am green with envy. And you found Medium Dreams without my having to send you a link! Bravo.
Oh that sounds funny what did she talk about on ellen?
Paul: Her segment was too short! Grr. Patricia talked about the Season 3 premiere and working with her hubby. Ellen/Sabrina reminded her that she came to her Hancock Park house trick-or-treating with her now-17-year-old son, Enzo, when he was an itty bitty thing. “And when I say me I mean my sister Ellen.” *snort*
Please tell me some one has a pic of this!!! I have looked all over the internet and can’t find ANY!!!