Rating The Top Moments In Breaking Dawn, Part 1 By The Audience’s Screams And Cheers

Smattering of Applause - 1/9

Though it's at the low end of this spectrum, it's still impressive when the audience claps simply for the movie's logo.

Screams/Vocalizations - 9/9

I believe the exact reaction was "oh yes!" even though we'd already seen in the trailer countless times the moment where Jacob gets the invitation, then immediately runs away and rips off his shirt. Because that's the totally normal thing to do when the girl you love is getting hitched.

Squeals - 7/9

As always, the first time we see Edward is unfailingly creepy: Bella looks over, and he's just lurking in the Cullen house while everyone else sets up for the wedding.

I think the reaction was part squeal of joy, part actual gasp of fear.

Titters - 2/9

Mostly we were all just shocked by the way that director Bill Condon plopped the Twilight writer into the movie: As Bella is heading down the aisle and starting to hyperventilate, she looks up and locks eyes with Stephenie. We all laughed nervously because we weren't sure what this meant. Was this some meta, break-the-fourth-wall moment? Is Bella inexplicably friends with that woman in the diner from the first movie?

Screams/Vocalizations - 9/9

Technically this comes during the reception, but it's certainly a promise. Even though we've heard Robert Pattinson recite this line in every preview, it still affected our theater: "No amount of time with you would be enough, but let's start with forever."

"I just got chills!" whispered the girl behind me. And that, ladies and gentlemen, was the high point of the movie.

Laughter - 4/9

Breaking Dawn was good about incorporating a lot of sex talk and playing up the "Bella loses her virginity in more ways than one" without being too obnoxious. The wedding was actually one of my favorite scenes in the movie because of all the awkward humor... including Kellan Lutz saying something to the effect of, "Bella, I hope you've gotten enough sleep for 18 years, because after today you won't get to sleep at all!" While her dad is sitting there looking miserable as they discuss his daughter's sex life.

Squeals - 7/9

For a crashing, it's pretty tame; in fact, Edward is the one who brings Bella over to the woods to have some private time with his no-longer rival. So the reaction was also sort of tame--a small "woo!" when he appeared all scruffy and smiling bitterly.

Cheers - 8/9

I love how effing awkward these kids are. While they uncomfortable prowl around the edges of their pretty bed (whose lifespan is shortening by the second), we all just cracked up and tried to give them some encouragement.

Squeals - 7/9

On the big screen, this was even more hilarious. Clearly, for the most intense sex ever, give up your virginity to vampire. And you knew that the women in our audience wanted to be Bella--or the bed, either way.

Laughter - 4/9

This was one of those great moments taken from the book and expounded upon for the movie: It communicates Bella's frustration that Edward won't touch her but is still extremely funny.

Cheers - 8/9

Somehow this merited a cheer--what a biased audience we had! That, or they were cheering simply because vampires and werewolves fighting is so hot. I'm not sure.

Snorts - 3/9

So after Jacob ditches Sam's pack to take care of pregnant Bella, Seth and Leah peel off and come with him. There's something about how little Seth whines, "Go away, Leah!" that prompted snorts from all of us.

Laughter - 4/9

The exchange literally goes like this:

Bella: (shivers)
Edward: You cold?
Jacob: I got it.

Then he waltzes over and wraps Bella in his muscly, warm-blooded arms. They made the same joke, though racier, in Eclipse, yet it's still funny.

Groans - 6/9

I had forgotten about this moment from the book; it's played well with Jacob's disgust and the other vampires' hunger for actual human blood. However, it's nowhere near as bad as Human Centipede II (Full Sequence), so I was OK.

Groans - 6/9

This reaction was less about revulsion like the previous one, and more about how stupid Bella's choice of baby names were. Of course we knew about Renesmee, but then she tells the boys what she wants her hypothetical son to be called: "EJ. Edward Jacob." Gag!

Applause - 5/9

Not gonna lie, the scene where Jacob locks eyes with baby Renesmee, who is like five minutes old, reminded me of that awful story from Mommyish about the 72-year-old man who accused a baby of coming on to him. In the movie, it smartly cuts to a vision of Renesmee of legal age... but they did something to this baby to give it CGI-vampire eyes, and it looks way too intelligent for having just fought its way out of Bella's womb.

Applause - 5/9

This Photoshopped image is basically the same as the last shot of the movie. Of course everyone applauded when Bella came back from death to... be undead, as the red eyes signify. Because how could we go on with Breaking Dawn, Part 2 if we didn't have our heroine?!