The Real Housewives franchise has taken kind of a dark turn and this new Orange County season looks like it’s no exception. I guess that’s what happens when no one has any money anymore. At least on Million Dollar Listing, there are pretty houses to covet. These women just make me sad.
They don’t even have the hilarious delusion of the Atlanta women. I just want to watch an over the top, blinged out Botox babe drink Cosmos and drive her Hummer around, not these depressing messes. I hope new housewife Alexis Bellino brings some of the camp back, which she just might, considering she thinks she’s going to “change the world” in the season preview. Otherwise, we’re in for an extreme downer of a season. Let’s just go down the list:
1. Lynne

Let’s get her out of the way first. The product-placed St. Regis party was a total joke. She had one cuff to sell. I’m perplexed by Lynne’s return. She’s not rich and all she has to offer are those dreadful teenage drinking daughters. How many more scenes of her working out will we have to endure? I’m thinking thousands.
2. Vicki
Ohh Miss Gunvalson. I get the idea that Vicki is strangely not happy about her daughter Brianna becoming a nurse because it’s not glamorous enough. She didn’t even mention it in the voice-over segment about what her kids were up to, just that she had a “good job.” Her son Michael is getting into the insurance business because honestly, what else was he going to do? This way, he doesn’t even have to try. She should be proud Brianna has taken on such a difficult profession. It was cool they started off with her sky-diving segment. I don’t truly buy her reconciliation with Don. What did you all think of that?
3. Jeana
Word is Jeana will be in these first few episodes and then leave, a la Lauri’s exit last season. Her telling Colton he needs to supervise her spending wasn’t surprising. Last season, both her daughter Kara and Colton were apparently responsible for watching what she was eating. That’s a weird dynamic to have, but the Keoughs have never presented as anything but dysfunctional. I felt bad for Vicki putting her on blast and revealing that Jeana had called her to borrow money. There really was no need to bring that up, but the Vicki/Jeana relationship was already showing signs of strain with all that Frankie drama last season.
4. Tamra
Ms. Barney is looking a LOT better this season. Those hideous tops she wore in on-camera interviews (the green ruffly Bebe top in particular) last year have been replaced with some much nicer button downs.Anyway, Simon pissed me off in the last episode. Why is his wife’s brash nature all of a sudden an issue? Why is he all of a sudden modest? This was the same guy that said nothing of being late to dinner in Napa with Don and Vicki so he could have a quickie with Tamra. This was also the same guy who didn’t flinch when Tamra grabbed his junk on the boat in Havasu in front of a camera crew. Tamra has always been this way, his new found sense of propriety is bullshit.
5. Gretchen
Saved your favorite for last! Like Donn and Vicki cleaning up the pool in newfound marital bliss, I felt that Gretchen and Slade’s garage cleaning was totally fake. I also felt queasy when Gretchen said that Jeff’s death brought her to Slade. I can’t believe we have to deal with this douche again. But I find it hilarious that Slade came crawling back to the show, after he trashed it years ago when they woudn’t let him shill for his company on camera.
Anyway, the argument at the St. Regis dinner was interesting, especially in light of everything we know to be true that hasn’t been mentioned on camera. I am convinced that people are on Gretchen’s side because Tamra presents her side of the argument so poorly and just looks hysterical. Does anyone believe Gretchen wasn’t with Jay? Does anyone believe that her sole drive is anything but fame at any cost? I mean, her beloved ex-fiancee died of lymphoma and her new boyfriend hasn’t paid his child support on his 9 year old with a malignant brain tumor. You gotta have some SERIOUS blonde ambition to discount that.
If Tamra didn’t look so g-d crazy, she would have more supporters. And to anyone who says it’s none of Tamra’s business and none of our business what Gretchen does, she’s on a reality show and has made herself a public figure. She’s made it our business.
Image: Bravo/Evans Vestel Ward










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What poker website is Michael Wolfsmith (Viki’s son playing on, I thought online poker was illegal and he was able to buy a rolex?
Gretchen went through a lot with Jeff JUST FOR MONEY…no difference with women who sell themself for the money. Lynne – I never saw sooooo ugly women, man body with grandmama 100 years old face…At least some women still have braine.
Okay, Okay.
1. Gretchen. She is a sweet girl, and we have to remember that she went through a lot with Jeff. Regardless of whether she cheated or not, she brought a lot of joy to that man’s life until the end, that’s not an easy thing. As far as Slade, why not? Enjoy it while it lasts cause thats gonna burn out faster than Tamara’s life after Bravo.
2. Tamara. WAS also one of my favorites, but dang! That woman is jealous and spiteful.
True colors came out and HATE is an UGLY COLOR.
3. Jeanna, she’s been fair and sweet, I think she has a good heart- for doing the right thing, and by far the most mature of all the housewives. I wish her luck and love, and better friendships with better people.
4. Lynne, I think she’s a’ight. I like her spirit and she seems pretty damn real.
5. Gotta watch for the new housewife…
And lastly, WHY has the REAL HOUSEWIVES show become a giant COMMERCIAL for shameless SELF-PROMOTION? Wig lines, jewelry lines, clothing lines, bathing suits, tequila!?, tacky fundraisers and fashion shows…c’mon! I think Bravo needs to put this in contracts or something. These are not real housewives, these are reality stars with AGENTS with $$$ in their eyes, it’s gonna backfire, Bravo (like the scripted Million $ Listing!). I still watch, but its like watching Toddlers and Tiaras or something. Kinda gettin’ sick of it. And Andy Cohen is lacking a little something as the “post host”. xo
4. Vicki. Ugh. She’s a great business woman and mother but you pretty much suck and I wouldn’t ever want to be your friend.
Gretchen just went on TV Guide video and said Jay threatened her life and she got a restraining order. She is one very stupid chick.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jkf4ir3jw7E
If Gretchen goes on tv, she needs to expect that anything in her life can be a subject that appears on the show. She can’t pull the wool over our eyes and claim that no one was supposed to know about that storyline.
Move on to the next subject/season….was what I meant… And what “truth” are you referring to kel????…if you’ve read my past posts…I never said I didn’t think Gretchen was with Douchebag Jay….in fact I stated it was obvious they were….My point is and always has been, that we were never meant to know about that…again, they all have personal private lives behind the camera…and Tamra felt the need to tell all of us about Gretchens’…not her right or business ….Then Jay and all his picture leaking…. I’m not saying Gretchen’s an angel, I’m just not judging her so harshly!!!! This relationship with Slade seems made for tv though…I don’t know!
Thank you Maria, that is what I was referring to. I believe Speidi have the same deal where they get a cut of the profits off the sale of the photos. Basically they are trying to create a market for their photos some how. Speidi invested this technique and it appears that Gretch-slimey have followed suit.
Did anyone else see Slade’s new blog on Bravotv.com? It is too much to handle! He is clearly trying to fight Gretchen’s battles and it comes off poorly.
Sorry didnt know the first one went through.
I was floored when Gretchen said that she thought that Jeff sent Slimey to her. Now that is karma from the grave. Hope if she does have kids from him that she wants him to be the one to have them every other weekend. They both really deserve each other. Waiting for the fireworks to begin.
I could not believe hearing Gretchen say that she feels Jeff brought Slimey into her life. Now that is Karma from the grave. Watching the program, every time she opened her mouth, she stuck her foot in it. Looks like the cheerleaders don’t have much to cheer about anymore. Maybe it’s time for you all to move on. Or stick around for the fireworks. Wonder if her family is proud that she is with a deadbeat dad. She better think about the fact that if he does father any children with her, he better be the one she wants to have them every other weekend.
Hey Sister Sledge–Slade Slimey probably gets money under the table from paps when he does the “staged” photo shoots with Gretchen.
I agree is it atrocious what he is doing to his son who is in ill health. I am sure Slade splashing himself all over tv does not make it any easier on Grayson’s mother and family. My heart goes out to them.
Didn’t Simon meet Tamra when she was sharing an apartment with a stripper and he said he watched her work out in a pink thong? He knew he was marrying a wild child. They also said once that when they were first married they lived in a little condo. She didn’t marry him for money. People get divorced caused by stress over money issues regardless of the income.
Lynne is growing on me. I know there will be tons of comments about being evicted/getting a face lift but I’m sure the plastic surgery was comp’ed in order to get the Dr’s name on TV. If I was evicted and some offered me a free ANYTHING I would probably take it too.
I just feel pity for Jeanna. Unless the drama grows between Vicki and Alexis, Vicki is getting squeezed out.
The truth hurts, huh Anica? If Gretchen had not spent the last year telling lies and playing the victim, there wouldn’t any need for endless posts about the “truth.” The money he got had nothing to do with restoring his credibility, so if this old YOU might want to move on, I’m going to stick around and see what happens next. ;)
Slade does not have his own money, he said so himself to the judge. NO JOB, zero income, but he lives the high life and jets across the country with Gretchen. Who’s paying for that? HMMM . . . Who’s Gretchen’s manager? Is Slade working for free or is he getting cash under the table?
Why isn’t Gretchen kicking Slade’s low-life slimey a$$ to the curb instead of enabling him to dodge his child support? Gretchen lost her beloved Jeff to cancer and she’s dating a loser who has abandoned his own cancer-stricken son financially and physically. sick sick sick.
Yes…..we get it…got it….over it. It IS old and you’re right Kara, the endless posts about the “truth”…over and over seem a bit obsessive. Tamra, Jay, and his handful of supporters, can move on now. He got his money….he just wanted to back up his excellent “credibility”(ca-ching) right? pffft…….now go away!!!! Sister Sludge/Pizza Girl/DUH….how do you know if Gretchen is giving Slade money or not? How could you? Juat makin’ stuff up now? LOL
So i don’t beleive Gretchen is without fault. Ok she made some bad choices. She’s not being honest about those choices. Ok. We get it. I don’t think of her as an angel or put her on a pedastal. The thing is with so many people trying to expose her with the truth end up looking crazier because of their obsession to try and make her look bad. Tamra and Jay should find something more constructive to do with their time. It’s getting old fast.
I can’t get past the fact that Gretchen is dating a deadbeat dad who claims to have NO JOB, ZERO INCOME and is 80K behind on his child support and has only seen his son twice in the last year and forgot to send little Grayson a birthday card. By being this douche’s sugar mama and giving him cash under the table she’s enabling Slade to shirk his responsibilities.
I usually post on absurdtosublime.net but stumbled upon this blog. First and foremost this season is gonna be tough to watch. The whole gretchen vs. Tamra thing will not die. The vicki and jeana thing took me by suprise. The reason why I’m still team gretchen is because tamra doesn’t have a valid reason to be hate on gretchen. And when they do argue tamra loses. If tamra wasn’t such a shrew, more people would side with her. She was likeable her first season, but when gretchen came on it was like a 180 personality change. My advice for tamra is to worry about yourself and yòur problems. Who gives a crap about Gretchen and her relationship problems. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU!
Now on to Vicki and Jeana.
I think that the problems between Simon and Tamra could be due to an affair or just the fact that he can’t find a job because of the TV show and the bad publicity or a combination of both. I think he is realizing that it was not a good idea to allow the cameras into their private lives, there is a rumor he lost his job because the way Tamra acted on the show and now it is too late to repair their reputation and all the damage and chaos this TV show created in their lives you can tell they are not happy people.
I agree with the other posts that stated that all the facades these women portrayed in the past are now crumbling in front of everyone’s eyes. I think both Tamra and Gretchen each have their disfunctional issues and both do things that are wrong. Gretchen’s facade of a good girl is also starting to crumble just like Tamra’s did.
Here is a recap on the last episode
http://www.realfauxhousewives.com/?p=8180
A quick nice note to Daisy Mae -
the reason for the suspicion of Simon cheating is that usually when a man (or a woman) is cheating, he knows he is doing wrong but instead of beating himself over it, it is easier for him to turn it around and be nasty to his wife so that the wife feels that she has done somthing terribly wrong for her husband to stray – just my experience and way of thinking. Daisy Mae, your thoughts please – thank you.