Severus Snape, you jackanape

I do believe that’s the first time I ever got to use the word “jackanape.” Yay for me! Well, we’re all about the bad guys today apparently, here’s some choice quotes from Severus:

“You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potionmaking,” he began. [...] I don’t expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses … I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even stopper death — if you aren’t as big a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach.”

“Hang on…” Harry muttered to Ron. “There’s an empty chair at the staff table…. Where’s Snape?”
“Maybe he’s ill!” said Ron hopefully.
“Maybe he’s left,” said Harry, ‘because he missed out on the Defense Against the Dark Arts job again!”
“Or he might have been sacked!” said Ron enthusiastically. “I mean, everyone hates him –”
“Or maybe,” said a very cold voice right behind them, “he’s waiting to hear why you two didn’t arrive on the school train.”
Harry spun around. There, his black robes rippling in a cold breeze, stood Severus Snape. He was a thin man with sallow skin, a hooked nose and greasy, shoulder-length black hair, and at this moment, he was smiling in a way that told Harry he and Ron were in very deep trouble.

“That is the second time you have spoken out of turn, Miss Granger,” said Snape coolly. “Five more points from Gryffindor for being an insufferable know-it-all.”

Snape’s worst memory: “So,” said Snape, gripping Harry’s arm so tightly Harry’s hand was starting to feel numb. “So … been enjoying yourself, Potter?”
“N-no …” said Harry, trying to free his arm.
It was scary: Snape’s lips were shaking, his face was white, his teeth were bared.
“Amusing man, your father, wasn’t he?” said Snape, shaking Harry so hard that his glasses slipped down his nose.
“I — didn’t –”
Snape threw Harry from him with all his might. Harry fell hard onto the dungeon floor.
“You will not repeat what you saw to anybody!” Snape bellowed.
“No,” said Harry, getting to his feet as far from Snape as he could, “No, of course I w–”
“Get out, get out, I don’t want to see you in this office ever again!”
And as Harry hurtled toward the door, a jar of dead cockroaches exploded over his head.

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Tags: severus snape