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On Sex Rehab, Phil has also taken issue with Kari Ann’s behavior, especially her choice of clothing. He is having enough trouble dealing with his own recovery, but then she walks around with half her bum hanging out and it just makes the whole process tougher for him. I agree with him that she showed no respect for her fellow patients whatsoever.
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But I’m not the therapist. (Thank goodness!) Licensed clinical therapist Jill Vermeire explained why all of this was to be expected under the circumstances. Here’s an excerpt of the interview:
Phil also is affected by Kari Ann, specifically her wardrobe choices. He calls them “disrespectful.” Do you agree?
Jill: That was Kari Ann finding any way she can to act out. Women, especially female sex addicts, use clothing as part of their acting out behavior. I became the fashion police. On a daily basis, several times a day, I was having some of the women go back and change, or hike up their pants, or cover up. And some of the women, Amber for example, really honestly don’t understand how provocative their clothing is. There were time when I would ask Amber to cover up, and she would look at me in bewilderment: “What? This is revealing?” It was like relearning how to be a woman of grace and integrity, which is a term I use with all of my clients. This doesn’t mean that you have to wear a potato sack. It doesn’t mean you have to be mummified. You want to dress in a way that you feel great about yourself, but you’re not getting a hit. They can have attractive and sexy outfits that flatter their bodies and speak to who they are and their personalities, but Kari-Ann is a great, great, great example of using her clothing to get a hit. Whether she identifies that or not, or has the insight or not, she was finding ways, since we took away a lot of her “drugs”–her sex toys, her masturbation, sex with men, and seduction–that was her way of still being able to feel high. And it was really frustrating, and it was something that I commend the boys for being so tolerant of. Phil got very, very upset because it was right there in his face, and he was in withdrawal so he was extremely agitated because he was so uncomfortable. His skin was crawling. It was almost like having a cocaine addict in withdrawal, and having a pile of cocaine sitting in front of them.
Be sure to go read the entire interview here. Visit Jill’s web site. Follow Jill on Twitter.