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In ‘The Fundamental Things Apply‘, we bring up the other side of the discussion we started this week with Dean – about how Rory also is not a “dater.”
In this episode, Rory was completely oblivious to the fact that she was being asked out by Trevor, a guy she finds creepy because he carries water. Then there’s Marty, aka “Naked Guy”, who Rory calls sweet, as if she’s unable to look at him in a non-friend way.
Perhaps Rory is still recovering from her two serious relationships – with Dean and with Jess – or perhaps she doesn’t know how to think of a boy in non-relationship terms. Maybe she doesn’t know how to “date” - to just go out with a guy, even if nothing comes of it.
Trying to take Lorelai’s advice to date, Rory goes out with Trevor, but has a horrible time. She doesn’t know how to act casually on a date. And perhaps this is because she had her first date with Dean with Lorelai there and her first “date” with Jess was more of an “ok, we’re jumping into a relationship” thing.
Why does Rory have such trouble with dating? Should it matter if she dates?
Watch this episode of Gilmore Girls on TheWB.com here.
Image: TheWB.com
261 days ago
Lots of people have trouble dating, especially something like dinner where you are forced into conversation. Rory’s obviously very introverted so it shouldn’t be a shock that this is awkward for her. I don’t see it as a good thing or bad thing, just the way things are. I think it also shows why the three guys were successful at wooing her. They didn’t try to date her, they tried to do things for her and with her.
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261 days ago
Of course, Rory should have “dated.” Her priority was her school work, but this was her chance to relate to other people without being deep in relationship expectations. What happened after the date could be as serious or not as she wanted it.
It’s clear, as I said in other posts, that the Palladinos had something (unfinished?) to say about Rory’s deep attachments to the boys she dated in ways that overwhelmed her so much with all three that it affected her persona. Dating may or may not have helped with that (made her realize it was not for her unless she had strong feelings for someone else) or could have helped her explore the feelings about herself as a young woman without attachments to see herself as she can be with different people.
If I may say so, the BIGGER issue in this episode is how MESSY this whole discussion with Lorelai is. Rory tells Lorelai that LORELAI never dated either. How could John Stephens write this episode after having written BOTH of the key “dating” Lorelai episodes — where she “casually dated” Paul after her breakup with Max? Even worse, he wrote the episode where she is introduced to Alex, who Lorelai and Rory both admit she’s dating and it never evolves into a relationship? And neither even mentions Max at all — as relationship or date?
And Lorelai’s most recent “one nighter” with Christopher at the end of Season 2 — Stephens has Rory describe THAT as a “relationship”?
Maybe he didn’t write this and whoever edited it is to blame, or he was growing careless.
But this is when I knew the show was losing its focus.
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261 days ago
I think it depends on how one defines “dating” and who is observing the behavior of the couple. I’m sure random people in the dorm watching the Rory/Marty interactions with the amount of time they spent together the first year and how much they obviously enjoyed each other’s company could have easily surmised they were at least “dating” if not in a full blown relationship. Rory of course would dispute this definition as to her “dating” had always included the possibility of modest levels of intimacy and she did not see Marty in this way.
However, to just go out with someone because he seemingly randomly asked her was not a very satisfactory mode of developing friendships let alone relationships for Rory [see Trevor and Robert]. She needed to pass through a period of casual no social pressure friendship first. Her modus operandi seemed to be that after this initial period, both parties simultaneously discovered their strong mutual interest in each other, they acknowledge that fact to each other, and then either party can take the reins in initiating the dating process [i.e. Jess with the picnic basket for Rory, Rory with the champagne bottle for Logan]. I suspect this process of first developing friendships leading to relationships works better for most people than going through the formal up-tight socially-proper “dating” process as formulated back in Richard’s and Emily’s time.
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261 days ago
You are right Marie I never realized that. But yes Rory always had extremely good luck with guys. She never showed real interest and they all the sudden liked her. The only one she worked for was Logan, only because he was a player. But he still was interested in her. Jess liked her from the start and she only was interested because of their similar interests. Because lets face it, they are polar opposites. Dean was more of a crush thing(on both parts)and he kind of made the fist move with the whole bracelet thing. It was always annoying that she had all these guys flocking her, even Marty and Tristan. I mean, she was so shy and quiet how did guys like Tristan and Logan even notice her? Although I guess with Logan she had kind of gotten more outgoing. A little at least.
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260 days ago
I think it’s as Rory says herself, that she has boyfriends, not escorts. I don’t think she likes going on random dates with various guys if nothing comes out of it. Rory is a relationship girl. That’s my two cents.
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260 days ago
@mc
I’m not sure I agree with that. Maybe it is a regional thing, but to me dating implies some sort of romantic possibilities. I recall from my youth a lot of intermingling that wasn’t dating. One thing I note is that the formal dating “process” emerged in the Victorian Era as a way to prevent what happened with Lorelai and Chris.
@sarah
You’ve got to be kidding me. Do you know anything about guys? Of course they would have noticed her. To a high school or college kid, having a pulse, all of your limbs, and all of your teeth is enough to get attention from someone. I don’t know whether the writers intended Rory to look exactly as Alexis portrayed her or whether she was more of an idealized caricature (think of the portrayals by Bledel and Fisk of Kate and Jill in I’m Reed Fish as opposed to the “real” Kate and Jill). I guarantee you that if it was an honest portrayal, she would have to go out of her way to avoid attention but even if it wasn’t, she’d still get attention just because that’s the way guys are.
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259 days ago
I think rory is the kind of girl that guys like to be best buddies with rather than date she is someone u want on board if u r the kind of person that needs bailing out of ‘difficult situations’ every now and then she’s not girlfriend material
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259 days ago
I think Rory has a hard time dating for a couple of reasons.
1.) Her Mom doesn’t have a solid dating history.
2.) She has Daddy issues, even though she handles them mostly well otherwise.
3.) She wants someone to worship her, just like Lor likes men to do. That doesn’t come right away when casually dating, so she likes to be seriously taken. That guarantees lots of attention.
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