Star Tours Needs A Drink(ing Game)

In 1987, Disneyland saw the opening of a new ride that pushed the boundaries of the thrill ride: Star Tours, a collaboration between George Lucas and Disney based on the original Star Wars trilogy. The ride was so popular that a duplicate appeared at Disney World two years later, and in both locations, it quickly became a favorite Disney attraction. After over twenty years in operation, though, Disney finally decided that it was time to give the old classic a bit of a sprucing-up. The refurbishment took time, though; fans were forced to endure a closure of a year while the ride got its redesign. But on Friday– finally!– the wait was over! Star Tours: The Adventures Continue opened in Disney World’s Hollywood Studios park with all-new stories, effects, and technology, and boy are we excited! In honor of this momentous occasion, let’s celebrate with a good old-fashioned drinking game!

Star Tours opens: It’s 1987! Party like it’s 1999! Break out the membrosia!
Spend eight zillion years in the ride queue: Take one drink if you’re in Disney World, two if you’re in Disneyland (World has, by far, the superior queuing area).
Board the Starspeeder 3000: Take one drink for fortification purposes.
Realize that Peewee Herman is your pilot: Take a good slug. Or two. Or three. And buckle up.

Take off for Endor, with strong misgivings: Flag down the flight attendant and get a collection of little travel membrosia bottles.
OH MY GOD WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE Oh wait, we just ended up leaving via the maintenance bay: Well, I guess we’re alive, so down a travel bottle or two.
Go into lightspeed: Take a drink and make sure your bottles are safe.
Overshoot Moon of Endor: Take a drink and make sure your bottles are safe.
End up in combat zone OH MY GOD WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE: Take several bottles and ask for more.
Get stuck in tractor beam OH MY GOD WE’RE STILL ALL GONNA DIE: Forget the bottles and hang on for dear life.
Kill some TIE-fighters: Keeping hanging on, but take a couple of drinks as you do so.

Go into lightspeed again: Hopefully by this point you should be pretty blitzed.
Land back where you started: Stumble off the Starspeeder and prepare to drunkenly haggle for your money back.
Star Tours closes for refurbishment: Sigh, but start collecting your membrosia bottles again, just in case.
Wait a year: Gather ye membrosia while ye may.
Star Tours opens again: If you’re at Disney World, celebrate! If you’re at Disneyland, cry, because you still have to wait until June to experience the 54 supposed different rides now available.
Marvel at the new destinations you can now go to: Tatooine! Coruscant! Hoth! Take one drink per destination!
Spot much-beloved characters absent from the original ride: Darth Vader! Boba Fett! Yoda! Take one drink per character!
Spot Admiral Ackbar: IT’S A TRAP!