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We watched Bachelor Pad last night, and it was weird. We’re shameless fans/ruthless critics of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, what with all the crazy people, thwarted romance and “final rose of the night” nonsense. But if you’re into the ABC franchise, you might not be into the spin-off: It’s got the crazy people and the thwarted romance but there’s money involved – the grand prize is $250K (we think) – and no one to root for in this cynical, cynical game/hookup show. Basically, everybody sucks. Allow us to rank the suckiest:
1. Jesse Kovacs: Known as “the wine guy” on Jillian Harris‘ Bachelorette season, Jesse is an arrogant tool. When Elizabeth Kitt tells him she loves him and would do anything to make him stay in “the game,” he brushes her off like a college frat boy to a meaningless hookup. They had a relationship before Bachelor Pad and it’s clear Jesse wants to date other girls in the house. Then again …
2. Elizabeth Kitt: Seems desperado and mildly – how do we put it? – unstable. The way her eyes go big when she threatens Jesse by telling him she will turn the women of the house against him if he disses her …. well, that’s a bit Fatal Attraction. “I’m in love with you,” she tells him. Which makes us wonder: Did the producers put those words in her mouth to “build a narrative?” Either way, she’s great at “acting psycho.” Also, she is really, really lame.
3. David Good: A contestant on the Jillian season, David is a 28-year-old Alpha male and “entrepreneur” with rage issues that make him extremely unpredictable. He is a card-carrying rageaholic. We would not want to be around him. He is perhaps the scariest contestant in the franchise’s history, and that’s saying a lot. Which is why they cast him on the Pad and not as the “next Bachelor.” Also, he’s incredibly delusional, leering at all the girl housemates as if he can pick them off one by one in a Bachelor Pad buffet. Gross. De-luge.
4. Tenley Molzhan: A Disney princess come to life, Tenley is – hands down – one of the lamest and most annoying people we’ve ever seen on TV. Case in point. She tries to perpetuate the image that she’s sunny and happy and “above it all,” and then she – out of all the backstabbers in the house – spreads a rumor that creepy Michelle Kujawa hooked up with equally creepy Craig McKinnon. When Michelle confronted her about the rumor, Tenley broke down in dramatic sobs. “I’m scared!!!!!” she wailed. Oh, shut up. Since Tenley is an angelic force of good, Michelle was sent home along with Juan Barbieri (who we’re pretty sure is gay).
5. Natalie Getz: Yes, the Hollywood bartender is a lot of fun. And she’s bubbly and cute and brassy. But she seems to be overcompensating for something! Like a “frat sister” who ditches her sorority sisters to hang out at the Phi Delt “Senior House” 24-7. Yes, with her hoarse laughter and “just one of the boys” attitude, Natalie is That Girl who will sell other women out to get on the guys’ good side. Which of course, will make her a cunning strategic player on this tragic show.
Tell us: Did you see the Bachelor Pad? Who are your lamest picks? Are we allowed to not like Tenley? Should we feel bad about that?
Tenley is beyond obnoxious, and she needs to go home soon. I don’t see how anyone in the house puts up with her, as within the first three minutes of the show I was fed up.
I absolutely adore Tenley and I hope she wins!
My lamest picks are Natalie, Craig, Nicki and David.
<3 <3 <3 Tenley!!! and GIA!
I love Tenley on the show, and I honestly believe she was telling the truth about Michelle and Craig. I wouldn’t put it past Michelle to lock Tenley in the bathroom in order to demean her, so she’ll have the upper hand. That girl has an agenda to win the 250 grand… so glad she’s gone.