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Lauren and Chris surprise Caroline at the radio station, and manage to totally distract her. Yawn, next. Give me Teresa burning another bridge or Joe Gorga contemplating wearing another dress. Anything but this boring shit.
Teresa calls Melissa to discuss the family portrait, while Melissa's stylist is at her house. For a horrified second, I thought Melissa was planning to wear that purple top in the family portrait. And you know this is the best day of the stylist's life. I really questioned her line of thinking when she said that it was a good thing that Teresa didn't know that Meital was also styling Melissa. Are these ladies really able to fool themselves into thinking that this footage won't be shared with the world in a few months? Good luck getting a retail position at Posche.
Milania is the most like Teresa of all her daughters. In one episode, she's shown picking up and then body-slamming her baby sister, and in this episode, she's flipping herself over a table. It won't be long 'til she is soon flipping an actual table, ala Mommy.
My favorite part of this scene was watching Uncle Jaime chastise Ashley for her stupid tattoos, while having a sleeve full of tats himself. Maybe his point could have been better expressed with a long-sleeved shirt. And no need to point out the blow-job indication with the tattoo of the "swallow": we all got it. You can almost see Chris shudder when Jaime points it out.
Jesus Christ, Ashley. Can you FOR ONCE try not to be such a hot mess? Any slight criticism sends Ashley into a fit of tears. I think someone who is not related to Ashley might be better able to reach her. Side note: How fucking funny was it, at the end of the episode, when we learn Ashley has legally changed her name to "Ashlee"? Yep, she's making some positive changes, all right.
Lauren and Chris surprise Caroline at the radio station, and manage to totally distract her. Yawn, next. Give me Teresa burning another bridge or Joe Gorga contemplating wearing another dress. Anything but this boring shit.
Rich shows Victoria's date exactly how he plans to break his nuts, should he make a move on his daughter. It's very charming to see his own version of his daughter losing her virginity. Wait, is charming the right word?
As the family sits down for a photo shoot, Audriana sizes Milania up and contemplates exactly how she will beat her up once she gets a little bigger. Take that, sis!
One big happy family?
Is this normal?!
Well, IS IT?!
Teresa's newest cookbook, Fabulicious, comes out and causes quite a stir. In the introduction, Teresa says that Caroline is "1/16% Italian" and is "as Italian as Olive Garden." Them be fightin' words in Jersey.
I have to say I laughed out loud when the Manzos read that they are "1/16% Italian" (which they aren't) and Albie says, "I wonder who did the math on that" and Greg replies, "Maybe their accountant!"
But I will also say, I recently saw the season 2 episode at the Posche fashion show, and saw Greg whispering into Teresa's ear. Translation: Watch your back, Melissa, 'cause he's been known to switch sides.
Jacqueline tells Teresa why Caroline is upset with her. Teresa explains that the things she wrote were a joke. I don't know if Teresa explained it on camera and then the explanation was cut from the episode, but in her blog, Teresa explains that the joke that Caroline "is as Italian as the Olive Garden" was part of a running joke on an episode of Rachael Ray. With that explained, I can see Teresa definitely meant it as a joke. But, poor girl made the wrong joke about the wrong person...
Caroline takes particular offense at Teresa bashing Christopher's idea of having a strip club/car wash. How dare she! That's it. You don't fuck with Caroline Manzo and you CERTAINLY don't fuck with her kids. Guess what, Tre? As two famous prostitutes (Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman and Danielle Staub) would say, "Big mistake. Huge."
