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Ramona Singer: Oh, my gosh, ok, oh, my gosh, ok. Seriously, I got chills in this scene. You see, like Bethenny, I didn't grow up with love in the home. It was only after I became a mother late in life that I learned what love meant. I hope you guys are noting all the similarities between me and Bethenny. Older mothers, bad childhoods, small dogs, both businesswomen, both with our own signature alcoholic drinks. One might say I inspired her when she was the underdog. Ok, now I'm getting freaked out. What if she wants to be like me in other ways, ok? If she cuts her hair short, should I grow mine long?
Kelly Killoren Bensimon: What do I think of Bethenny's budding career? To be perfectly honest with you, it really has nothing to do with my life anymore. Life is so unbelieveably short, and I don't compete with anyone other than myself. If Bethenny wants to be a businesswoman, well then, yay for Bethenny, but she's still down here. It's like a foil to my life, because my life is filled with exciting people, beautiful children, and enough sun to make me virtually unrecognizable with sun damage in my later years. So, to answer your question, I live my life to the fullest, every day... that was your question, right?
Ramona Singer: Alright, obviously I'm not in the best mood right now (though the Pinot is helping) because Bethenny bashed me on the Watch What Happens Live after-show. To which I repeat my opening line in the credits: If people can't handle the truth, it's really not my problem. So what did I think of Bethenny on the bus? I thought having the bus shrinkwrapped in Skinnygirl logo was declassy. I mean, déclassé. And I know the Countess would've called her out on that! She would've been on that comment like white rice! Just look at Bethenny. Clearly she's a diva! Sorry, I just call it like I see it!
Ramona Singer: And I'm not done. Because, between me and you, I thought Bryn had an eating disorder. I mean, her derri-ay was really thin, just like Bethenny's. Sorry! I'm just saying this out of motherly concern.
Jill Zarin: Because Bethenny didn't grow up in a nuclear family, like I did, she doesn't understand the number one rule for in-laws, which is that you don't wanna upset the apple cart. If she hadn't cut me out like cancer, I would've told her that.
Countess LuAnn de Lesseps: And if I may interrupt, you never say cock in front of your in-laws. Acronym and lame pun aside.
Ramona Singer: Oh, my gosh, ok, oh, my gosh, ok. Seriously, I got chills in this scene. You see, like Bethenny, I didn't grow up with love in the home. It was only after I became a mother late in life that I learned what love meant. I hope you guys are noting all the similarities between me and Bethenny. Older mothers, bad childhoods, small dogs, both businesswomen, both with our own signature alcoholic drinks. One might say I inspired her when she was the underdog. Ok, now I'm getting freaked out. What if she wants to be like me in other ways, ok? If she cuts her hair short, should I grow mine long?
Countess LuAnn de Lesseps: I mean, really. What do YOU think I have to say about this scene? Obviously, discussing one's bowel movements (and all bodily functions, for that matter) is completely inappropriate. For God's sake, I never even let on that I needed my diaper changed when I was a baby. It's just not done!
Simon van Kempen: Jason's a man after my own heart, with his choice of pink attire. I, too, love pink... that doesn't make me gay, now, does it? No. And Jason's not gay, either. He and Bethenny have a beautiful marriage, just like me and Alex.
Alex McCord: Now, if Jason made Bethenny dress up in a tux in foreplay, he and Bethenny practically WOULD be me and Simon.
Jill Zarin: Ok. Let's call a spade a spade here. Bethenny, as she ponders the idea of selling the Skinnygirl brand, thinks back to seasons past, when she had no money and no relationship prospects, and who does she think about me? Me. Jill Zarin. Owner of Zarin fabrics. Ya know why? Because I was the only one there for her when she was the underdog. And she's an executive producer on the show, so you know she wanted me in that flashback segment, or she would've cut it. Do you think this means she wants to make up? Should I cawl her? I'm gonna cawl her.
Sonja Morgan: Was I jealous of Bethenny's offer? Darling, no. I was married to a MORGAN. I'm old money and she's new money. I cooked for the Churchills out of my toaster oven in ST. TROPEZ. The liquor company's offer would have been mere pennies to me. Why are you guys smirking? You heard about the bankruptcy? That motherfucking John Travolta...
Cindy Barshop: Who the hell is this girl?
