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Saturday, November 10, 2007 - 10:02 am ET
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The Top Twenty UNSEXIEST Male Celebrities

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AOL recently put out a list of who they think are the least sexiest male celebrities. Check it out:

Ben Stiller: What?!?!? Ben Stiller is super cute, funny to boot!
Eric Dane: Don’t even talk to me about this one. It’s ridiculous that he’s on this list.
Phillippe-Hartnett; Ryan Phillippe and Josh Hartnett are on this list because of facial hair??!!? Who made this list – a 12 year old?
Pete Wentz: This one I actually agree with. Guys wearing eyeliner? Gross.
James Blunt: He’s a little self-absorbed and I can’t stand that song “You’re Beautiful”, but…..I dunno.
Kevin Connolly: I don’t even know who this is.
Howard Stern: Is he even relevant anymore? Who cares?
Simon Cowell: Should NOT be on this list. I love me some Simon!
Wilmer Valderrama: He’s nasty. Agree.
Brandon Davis: I feel the need to exfoliate just looking at him.
Pete Doherty: Oh, Mr. Cracky McCrackystein? Agree!

Well, here’s a better list of unsexy male celebrities:

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Yes, that IS Michael Jackson. Between his gender-bending morphs and trials for pedophilia, he’s not putting out much of the sexy.

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Big Gay Al Reynolds. Anyone who thinks a sailor suit is good fashion is going to make this list.

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Andy Dick. Not only is he completely unfunny, he’s also a total….wait for it…..dick. Yes, I went there.

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Carrot Top makes the unsexy list because – do I really need to tell you? LOOK AT HIM.

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Clay Aiken doesn’t put out a sexy vibe so much as he puts out the “yes, it’s okay to slip into those sweat pants and eat an entire bag of Hostess Fruit Pies while you’re listening to my new CD.” Not surprisingly, this is the EXACT demographic who tend to buy his music. Coincidence? I think not.

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David Copperfield is a triple threat: he’s a horrible magician, he thinks he’s God’s gift to women, and he is facing rape charges. Not hot.

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Dennis Rodman makes this list because he’s such a fame whore. Plus, he makes me want to take one of those chemical showers – you know, like in the movies when they get contaminated by a virus? Yeah, those ones.

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Duane “Dog” Chapman is that inexplicable combo of dumb luck and white trash that somehow makes it to the top of the heap. See: Britney Spears.

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George Michael: Before he started romping in public parks with male prostitutes and having a bit of the weed, he actually was quite a fetching young man. Not so much anymore.

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David Hasselhoff: This guy just tries way too hard.

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Howie Mandel wasn’t funny before he got “Let’s Make a Deal”, he’s not funny now, and guess what: NOBODY UNDERSTANDS YOUR SHOW.

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Kid Rock just is BLASTING the sexy in this classic mugshot. What you don’t see is that in one hand he’s holding a bottle of Jim Beam; in the other, a baggie for his chaw.

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Marilyn Manson: This one is self-explanatory.

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Patrick Swayze: My mom’s preferences aside, Patrick Swayze is just not hot. Case in point: “Dirty Dancing.” I did not need to see ol’ Patrick smacking his crotch all over the place.

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P.Diddy – or whatever the hell he is calling himself these days – is one of those guys who thinks he is God’s dessert after a meal of pot roast and carrots. No, I don’t know what means either, but I think you get my general gist here.

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Ryan Seacrest: he’s not funny, he’s not witty, but he keeps showing up all over my frigging TV. Go away!

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Toby Maguire might be a surprise to some of you on this list. I like him in real life, but as a Spiderman, he just made me want to get my squasher.

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Tom Cruise: It saddens me somewhat to put Tommy Boy on this list of unsexy; but then again, what does he expect after years of Scientology-fueled madness? You knew it was coming, Tom. You knew.

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Kevin Federline: No list of unsexy male celebs would be complete without Kevin Federline. I can’t think of anything even remotely redeeming about this guy.

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Tracy Morgan makes the list of unsexiest male celebrities due to his constant groping of pretty much any female he comes into contact with. Plus, he’s one of those comedians who thought it would be a great idea to get off of Saturday Night Live because he was so TALENTED, and it just didn’t work out. Kinda like 9 out of 10 of every other SNL alum that’s tried this.

Okay! So what do you think of my picks for the top twenty male unsexiest celebrities? Vote in the poll!

{democracy:3}
Saturday, November 10, 2007 - 10:02 am ET
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4 Comments

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  1. Top 11 unsexiest men – Page 3 – Gossip Rocks Forum

    [...] I thought this was a pretty good list: Yes, that IS Michael Jackson. Between his gender-bending morphs and trials for pedophilia, he’s not putting out much of the sexy. Big Gay Al Reynolds. Anyone who thinks a sailor suit is good fashion is going to make this list. Andy Dick. Not only is he completely unfunny, he’s also a total….wait for it…..dick. Yes, I went there. Carrot Top makes the unsexy list because – do I really need to tell you? LOOK AT HIM. Clay Aiken doesn’t put out a sexy vibe so much as he puts out the “yes, it’s okay to slip into those sweat pants and eat an entire bag of Hostess Fruit Pies while you’re listening to my new CD.” Not surprisingly, this is the EXACT demographic who tend to buy his music. Coincidence? I think not. David Copperfield is a triple threat: he’s a horrible magician, he thinks he’s God’s gift to women, and he is facing rape charges. Not hot. Dennis Rodman makes this list because he’s such a fame whore. Plus, he makes me want to take one of those chemical showers – you know, like in the movies when they get contaminated by a virus? Yeah, those ones. Duane “Dog” Chapman is that inexplicable combo of dumb luck and white trash that somehow makes it to the top of the heap. See: Britney Spears. George Michael: Before he started romping in public parks with male prostitutes and having a bit of the weed, he actually was quite a fetching young man. Not so much anymore. David Hasselhoff: This guy just tries way too hard. Howie Mandel wasn’t funny before he got “Let’s Make a Deal”, he’s not funny now, and guess what: NOBODY UNDERSTANDS YOUR SHOW. Kid Rock just is BLASTING the sexy in this classic mugshot. What you don’t see is that in one hand he’s holding a bottle of Jim Beam; in the other, a baggie for his chaw. Marilyn Manson: This one is self-explanatory. Patrick Swayze: My mom’s preferences aside, Patrick Swayze is just not hot. Case in point: “Dirty Dancing.” I did not need to see ol’ Patrick smacking his crotch all over the place. P.Diddy – or whatever the hell he is calling himself these days – is one of those guys who thinks he is God’s dessert after a meal of pot roast and carrots. No, I don’t know what means either, but I think you get my general gist here. Ryan Seacrest: he’s not funny, he’s not witty, but he keeps showing up all over my frigging TV. Go away! Toby Maguire might be a surprise to some of you on this list. I like him in real life, but as a Spiderman, he just made me want to get my squasher. Tom Cruise: It saddens me somewhat to put Tommy Boy on this list of unsexy; but then again, what does he expect after years of Scientology-fueled madness? You knew it was coming, Tom. You knew. Kevin Federline: No list of unsexy male celebs would be complete without Kevin Federline. I can’t think of anything even remotely redeeming about this guy. Tracy Morgan makes the list of unsexiest male celebrities due to his constant groping of pretty much any female he comes into contact with. Plus, he’s one of those comedians who thought it would be a great idea to get off of Saturday Night Live because he was so TALENTED, and it just didn’t work out. Kinda like 9 out of 10 of every other SNL alum that’s tried this. The Top Twenty UNSEXIEST Male Celebrities [...]

  2. kevin connolly

    Kevin Connolly is from Entourage, and he is definitely not unsexy. He is hot hot hot . And, adorable, and cuddly, and so so cute.
    Watch him in action.

  3. peggy o

    Kevin Connolly is the adorable sidekick on Entourage and is decidedly not unsexy.
    He is absolutely adorable and charming in his role. His character is extremely rough around the edges, but sensitive at the same time. You can’t help but want to hug him and never let him go. How could he be on the unsexiest male list?

  4. anonymous

    who made the list on top?? the one with eric dane….why is he there??? have you seen Greys Anatomy??? have you seen the women’s reactions to the towel scene?? did an 8 year-old make this list??? well I agree that most of them ar unsexy..but why eric dane?? or ryan philippe??

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