Ugly Betty Episode 3.05 Full Recap

Copyright © 2008 American Broadcasting Companies, Inc./ David Giesbrecht

Daniel / Wilhelmina

As the episode begins, Daniel and Wilhelmina are feuding, and at a stalemate over the center spread in the Valentine’s issue of Mode. Daniel wishes to do a “war” (Love is a battlefield) spread, Wilhelmina, a spread with puppies (Puppy Love).  As Wilhelmina enters the “war” set, she is hilariously wearing a Cruella DeVille spotted coat and carrying adorable puppies.  As the stalemate continues, of course, Betty is caught in the middle.  When Daniel yells “Kill the puppies!”, Betty is mortified.  Because both are Editor in Chief of Mode, nothing is getting done.  Betty lets Daniel know that the whole situation is more than she can handle.

A subplot involves Daniel’s refusal to grieve the loss of DJ.  Claire tries to snap him out of it by eating kid’s cereal in front of his, and bringing some of DJ’s stuff to the office.  Daniel still refuses to talk about it.  He does admit, though, that having DJ around reminded him of how out of balance his life was.  He admits he wants a family.

Daniel has Betty proofread his application to a high-end dating service.  He of course exaggerates, and Betty decides to correct this.  She later tells him that the service has set him up and is sending them on a dinner cruise.

Daniel nervously arrives at the boat, met by “Harmony”, the annoying lady who runs the get-to-know-you cruise.  Daniel approaches his date, who has her back turned, only to find out it’s…Wilhelmina!

Both of them want to leave, but the boat leaves the dock and they are stuck.

The two sit down to dinner. Wilhelmina reveals that she uses the service because Marc doesn’t fulfil all of her needs, “although he’s given it the old college try” (heh).  They are both very annoyed by Harmony.

Daniel tries to set off the fire alarm with a candle, but nothing happens.  Wilhelmina then helps him by creating a flamethrower with hairspray and the candle. This sets off the alarm, and both of them seem proud of themselves.

On the walk home, the two seem to bond over the idea of family.  They even make a sort-of truce over the whole Editor-In-Chief thing.

In a staff meeting the next day, Wilhelmina unexpectedly announces she wants to go with Daniel’s idea for the center spread.

More after the jump.

Justin

At school,Justin reveals to a female friend that he has the opportunity to audition for Billy Elliot on Broadway.  A boy, obviously a bully, bumps into Justin, knocking his books to the floor.

Later, Justin practices in the Suarez living room. Hilda drives him to do more and more.  She displays classic stage mom characteristics. 

Justin arrives at the audition, only to find his bully there.  He says his mom will only let him play football if he tries out for the play.

Later, the two talk trash, and have a very amusing dance-off, which reveals that the bully is a pretty good dancer. 

Afterwards, both come out of the audition looking dejected, knowing that many of the other kids were much better than either of them.

Justin tells his family “they went with the short kid”.  He is OK with it, but they are quite distraught.  However, the bully is in tears.  Justin tries to console him, but the kid sends him away.

The next day, the bully actually talks to Justin, and they have a bonding moment, and decide to hang out sometime.

Betty / Kimmie

As she is stressing out over the whole Daniel / Wilhelmina drama, Betty comes in to find Kimmie (played by Lindsay Lohan) at her desk.  It turns out Kimmie quit her job after Betty had given her a pep talk, and her life has spiraled out of control.  She asks Betty for help, specifically in getting a job at Mode.  Betty tries to brush her off, but as Daniel is passing by, he overhears the conversation, and hires Kimmie on the spot, thinking he’s doing Betty a favor.

Betty tells Christina that this is a nightmare, because of her past with Kimmie. We see a flashback that ends with Kimmie pulling down Betty’s skirt to reveal her “Granny Pants” in front of the whole high school.  This makes Kimmie incredibly popular, but ruins Betty’s high school life.  Christina tells Betty that this is her chance to exact a little revenge.

She does this by having Kimmie ask Wilhelmina for her receipts directly.  As she does this, she makes things worse by saying that she (Kimmie) got the same dress that Wilhelmina was wearing for 60% off.  This makes Willy go apoplectic. 

Betty, over dinner, tells her family about this.  Hilda is happy, but Ignacio suggest she instead help Kimmie.  He reminds her how she hated being all alone when she first started at Mode.

The next day, Marc and Amanda make fun of Kimmie.  Kimmie also runs into things and generally makes a mess.  Daniel suggests they fire her, but Betty sticks up for her.  Betty vows to turn her into the perfect assistant, which she does.  The “training” segment is absolutely delightful.  Kimmie does indeed get very good.

She also books herself and Betty into all the hot NYC clubs.  Betty is excited about this.

Kimmie brings Amanda a giant cookie, which endears her.  Amanda and Marc then makeover Kimmie, bringing her perfectly up to date style-wise.  As the “new” Kimmie arrives, Betty is amazed by the transformation.  Kimmie then tells Betty that Marc and Amanda invited themselves to the night of clubbing.

As Betty rides in front of the cab on the way, Marc, Amanda, and Kimmie sit in the back sharing a private joke and generally ignoring Betty.  They leave Betty to pay the cab fare.

As they try to enter the club, only three of them can enter, so Betty gets left behind.  Kimmie says it’s temporary – she’ll go in and see if the place is worth it.  She is gone for 45 minutes.  As Betty is getting a cab, Kimmie comes out and stops her.  She says she ditched Marc and Mandy, and that the two of them can go to several clubs together.  Betty worries about work the next day, but Kimmie says they can come in late because Daniel has a meeting the next morning.

The next morning, Betty wakes up to her cell phone.  It’s 10:00, and Daniel is worried about her.  The meeting was canceled.  Betty says she’ll be right in, but Daniel says it’s OK, Kimmie’s here (she just walked in).

Betty rushes into the office, and Kimmie is looking at celebrity websites (heh) where pictures of them clubbing have been posted.  Daniel walks in and congratulates Kimmie for getting Mode onto Page Six.

Betty walks up to Kimmie, Marc and Amanda, who are looking at Kimmie’s old yearbook.  They mock the way Betty looked, of course.

Kimmie asks Betty to get her a water (the precursor to the skirt-pulling in high school).  Betty freaks out, and preemptively pulls down Kimmie’s skirt.  The entire lunch room looks at Betty like she’s insane.

Betty brings Daniel lunch to make up for being late.  Betty suggests Daniel give Kimmie the job of getting Mode’s name into the tabloids.  Daniel says he’ll think about it.

At the staff meeting the next day, Daniel announces he’s hired Kimmie as “Associate Editor” in charge of getting Mode into the tabloids.

Betty does her best to be magnanimous, and goes to congratulate Kimmie.  But Kimmie sends Betty instead for coffee.  She says she should thank Betty, but she won’t because popular people aren’t nice to unpopular people.  She then calls her granny pants and walks away, followed by Marc and Amanda.