Wake up with Snarky

Ellen DeGeneres Turned America Against Kennel Only After Threats Failed To Work
While most of us don’t claim the luxury of a hit talk show with which to air out our grievances, Ellen DeGeneres does, and yesterday she used the pulpit of her celebrity-safe funzone to turn America against Mutts & Moms, an organization that seeks to place found dogs in good homes.
The Original Wino is Working
Winona Ryder’s been in a movies recently, but I feel like I haven’t seen her in ages. No, she’s not making the Nancy Reagan story, she’s doing some movie called “The Informers.” It also stars Mary-Kate Olsen, so you know they are smoking out together.
I am – Hilary Duff on Set of Greta of the Day
I originally planned on posting these pictures because they show off how hard Hilary Duff’s working life is, you know having to run around like an asshole and crawl on the ground after wrestling a bitch for her bag like she was a 10 year old kid in the park fighting over a chocolate bar…
Mischa Barton’s Lesbian Russian Pop Star Movie Isn’t Going to be Good
If you’ve been wondering what Mischa Barton has been up to, and I’m sure you haven’t, let me fill you in. In her movie, Finding t.A.T.u., Mischa Barton plays a lesbian who finds love at a t.A.T.u. concert in Russia.
Britney Spears Talks Trash About Judge
I really hope the judge assigned to Britney’s case reads gossip sites. The Louisiana native was overheard ranting while trying on Juicy Couture dresses in the handicap(!) dressing room while shopping at Neiman Marcus.
Kellie Pickler has perfect eyes
Kellie Pickler was the very image of the sexy southern woman at this year’s CMA awards. She’s got a fake tan, fake tits, fake eyelashes and a false sense of security. a string of pearls and cheatin’ heart and I just might fall in love with her.
Foxy Brown: Wore H&M To Court, Showed No Nipple
New York Post nutcase Andrea Peyser is titillated by the sight of a humbled Foxy Brown arriving at a Brooklyn court (from prison) to plead not guilty to her third phone-related assault. Brown’s drab jacket and plaid pants (H&M!!) and “matted” hair excite Peyser to a degree that few cut-down-to-size “divas” could hope to match. Also, this is maybe the single horrifying sentence written in any newspaper in America today: “She also carried no BlackBerry, no $1,500 Louis Vuitton satchel—and revealed nothing of the precious nipple we’ve come to know and love.”