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After being featured on Comedy Central’s Tosh.0, newcomer Rebecca Black‘s single “Friday” became a viral internet phenomenon. But not because it was good.
Black’s song features some of the worst lyrics I’ve ever heard (she can’t decide whether to sit in the front seat or back seat; she informs us that Friday is after Thursday and before Saturday), the production quality is horrible, and whoever did her eye makeup clearly has a death wish. So how did she manage to get a record deal? Easy: she didn’t. Black is one of several “artists” produced by Ark Music Factory, a company that lets people pay a lot of money so that their kids can sing a song and make a music video. They specifically seek out young women who can sing but “don’t have any material” – in other words, they’ll take your kid, give them a song, make a video for them, let them perform at Ark events in Los Angeles, and try to convince them they’re the next Justin Bieber or Willow Smith – for a fee, of course. It’s sort of like MTV’s Made writ large, or what American Idol would look like if someone took all the delusional kids and let them have studio time. As one commenter on their YouTube channel put it, “Whoever came up with this ultimate troll of the MTV generation. I SALUTE YOU DUDE you’re a fucking GENIUS.”
Black is featured on Ark’s YouTube channel and in their promo reel (see below).
Their website, which requires a user account to get past the homepage, features several of their other “artists.” You can enjoy their “highlight reel” below and ask yourself which one is going to be the next Rebecca Black. Personally, I think Lil Nay Nay is a phenom in the making, especially since she somehow managed the feat of rapping before she could talk. Also, I wonder what Art Linkletter thinks about his granddaughter Sophia Linkletter doing some off-key belting in a song called “Rejection.”
leave brit… eh… rebecca alone! LEAVE HER ALONE!!!1!
rebecca black actually is talented . her friends just messed wit the video. she goes to my school, she’s honestly pretty awesome and an amazing singer i love her!!!
REBECCA BLACK IS GOING TO BE THE NEXT BRITNEY SPEARS SHE HAS EVERYTING TO BE A REAL STAR
We be so excited.
REBECCA BLACK HAS A LOT OF TALENT SHE IS NICE, BEAUTIFUL, SHE HAS A ANGELICAL SMILE AND TE VIDEO IS FRESH AND NICE SE IS ADORABLE
Talent? Are you serious? Your threshold for talent is really low…just like your ability to detect beauty. I wouldn’t be surprised if you were Rebecca Black.
Well, this explains where Vanessa Hudgen’s video “Sneakernight” came from perfectly.
OMG! Why is everyone saying the song sucks?! I LOVE IT! I want Rebecca to be my BFF! <3
This is just mean. The fact that they would give them this delusion, then crush their dreams.
I know more people with talent in their little finger than these kids. So sad that this company is pretending to make them a “star.” Yikes.
And by sever, I mean severe.
This may or may not cause sever bleeding from the ear. Fair warning.