- Tom Hanks’ hair.
- The book’s too complicated to be condensed in a two hour movie.
- You’ll be distracted by the cool French accents.
- Turns out that a cilice just isn’t that much fun.
- Dan Brown also wrote Digital Fortress. It’s horrible. Laughably horrible.
- Your grandmother will wonder (audibly) at the next family dinner why you’ve decided to abandon your faith and worship at the pagan altar of the Priory of Sion.
- Have I mentioned Tom Hanks’ hair? Rita? You’re married to him, explain this to me.
- There’s only so much running around a Renault will take, people.
- All the potential protesters might dampen the spirit of the evening.
- This movie will instantly turn you into a card-carrying Sacred Feminist.










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