A**holeology: A**holes vs. Douchebags (A Guide)

Asshole. He keeps getting weirder and weirder as time goes on, and yet he's still relatively benign. If jumping on Oprah's couch is the worst it can get, we're willing to indulge it for a while at least.

Douchebag. Racism is definitely a douchebag trait.

Disguised as a douchebag, but really an Asshole. The douchebag cover misleads people, allowing Bruce's vigilante Asshole, Batman, to continue on.

Disguised as an asshole, but really a Douchebag. The puppy can't save you, Chris. Only douchebags abuse their significant others.

Asshole. This is largely due to her unstoppable breasts.

Douchebag. Only a douchebag uses her child as an excuse for her behavior and a way to garner sympathy from the masses.

Asshole. To the pain!

Douchebag. It's her total lack of consideration for anyone other than herself that does it.

Asshole. What he'll do in order to make his movies is a testament to his Assholeness.

Douchebag. This should be self-explanatory.

Asshole. Bitch is crazy, but she's also awesome.

Douchebag. Bitch is crazy. Period.

Asshole. How else can you explain I'm Still Here?

Is "the Lohans" still the correct way to refer to them in the plural form? Between Dina and Ali changing their names to Sullivan and Lindsay dropping her surname altogether, I'm not really sure. But in any case, these guys definitely win the Douchebag Family of the Year award.

Asshole. Haters gonna hate, but does she let them get her down? Hell no!

Douchebag. Only douchebags try to take over the world.