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Prescription-strength wetness protection. Only if we’re talking about under arms, amirightladies? And this week we are. Let’s just say Niagara and her falls ain’t got nothing on my armpits! From the months of April through November- and for some reason in January- do NOT go in there, Ace Ventura. That’s right I’m the one in four women deodorant commercials talk about who “thinks” she sweats more than average. I’m no scientist, just ask my disappointed father, but I’m 99.9% confident I know I sweat more than the average gal. And that’s a statistic I think I can hang my cat on. Whoops I meant hat, Freudian slip. Daddy issues. Anyway, for once in her life Gail K has gotten lucky because prescription strength deodorant is all the rage from Secret to Dove to Mitchum for Women: you bring the sweat, they’ve got the chemical compounds to reverse your natural processes.
Certain Dri
Certain Dri w/ Joey Mintz from joey mintz on Vimeo.
I’ve always said one should respect one’s elders, because it won’t be long before one is an elder themselves and let’s face it one isn’t going to married and whose going to help one care for all of one’s cats when one has adopted one too many felines. Pay it forward, get thee to a retirement home on a Saturday night, ladies and start doling out some r-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Where was I? Oh yes, the elder in the pack of clinical strength anti-perspirants is of course Certain Dri. I’m not sure they even sell this stuff in drug stores anymore, but ladies I’m here to tell you it works! It won’t slow your back sweat, but your underarms will be bone dry. Someone told me once that Certain Dri contains an unhealthy amount of aluminum that basically shrinks your armpit pores down to nothing. I say, but can I use it on my face? Short answer: no. Long answer: 7 painful months of rashes. But what really stopped me from using the product is that it stinks. No girl likes to bring pit stains out with her to the clubs, but no boy is going to ask for your phone number if you smell like a dumpster.
But none of this should stop you from enjoying this commercial featuring a hunky guy who seems like a doctor then turns out, HE IS.
Secret Clinical Strength
Secret Clinical Strength deodorant strong enough for a man, made for a woman, coming for a glass ceiling near you. We’re really doing it girls. We may still be sexy objects in commercials speaking directly to us, but we’re in the driver’s seat dammit and we are driving a Porsche straight to the Four Seasons. You can take the girl out of the material, but you can’t take the material out of the girl. What can we say, ladies be loving their expensive goods.
