Am I Right Ladies? What the Douche?

Ladies, I want to ask once and for all: What is the deal with douching? Because the only kind of cleaning item I need poking around down there is a broom to sweep away all the cobwebs. It’s been awhile, amirightladies? As far as I’m concerned, enough crap goes in and out of there, we don’t need a steady stream of antiseptics increasing the flow of traffic. This is coming from a lady who is happy to see any activity happening south of her border, and I say douching can ándale ándale its way outta here.

I know you can’t see me right now, but girls I am taking a knee and speaking to you in a warm, but lecturing tone (clear vaginas, full hearts). A good old-fashioned douching supposedly gives your vaginal walls an extra coat of spring-cleaning and gets rid of unwanted odors. Like Febreze for your vagina. But you’d probably be just as well off Febrezing your vajayjay than douching it. Turns out, your lady parts have their very own system for keeping out all the bad stuff—and in my case, all interested (or uninterested) men. In fact, frequent use of a douche bag can actually cause a bacterial infection. And so can frequent use of a douche bag. GAILED IT.

And yet brands like Summer’s Eve soldier on, because it’s not like we have enough female-targeted products in the marketplace making us insecure basket cases. Now we have to worry about our dirty, stinky poons. Don’t believe me? Just think about the origin of the name Summer’s Eve for a second. Oh dearest, douche-deprived vagina, shall I compare thee to a Summer’s Eve? Thou art more dark, humid, and sticky.

After a little racial bump in their advertising campaign earlier this summer, Summer’s Eve is back with an epic video that makes you think maybe it wasn’t Helen of Troy’s face that launched a thousand ships.

It’s as if they want us to believe that the art of douching is as old as time itself. And it’s as clear as a freshly douched beaver that Summer’s Eve has definitely put the whole racial stereotype thing behind them. Am I right, Cleo-snatchtra?

And it looks like vaginal residue isn’t the only thing Summer’s Eve wants to slough off. If you watched this video as many times as I did (hundreds, and crying), you might have caught the name-change from douche to “cleansing wash.” Scrub away your whore ways with this soft cleansing wash. You might have given your delicate blossom away years ago, but now at least you can smell like one. That is, until you get a yeasty.

Then again, I’ve always said sometimes a yeast infection can be the best thing to happen to a gal. For example, how does a raise sound?