An Imagined Conversation With The Women Who Put Up Tinkle Signs In The Bathroom

I found this in the woman’s bathroom today. I thought we had been over this ladies, during our last conversation?

Me: See the sad thing about a lady like you, is in about 50 years you’re gonna start doin’ some thinkin’ on your own and you’re gonna come up with the fact that there are two certainties in life. One, don’t do that. And two, you dropped 50 cents down at Kinkos on a fuckin’ annoying sign you coulda’ got for free down at the Public Library.

You: Yeah, but I will have the physical evidence of my misplaced self-righteous over people peeing, and you’ll be sitting in a stall, wondering if you should put toilet paper down first.

Me: Yeah, maybe. But at least I won’t be unoriginal.

If only Will Hunting would just come into the ladies room and explain how dumb it is to put up these signs because if you don’t know how to pee now, it’s not like this sign is going to remind you not to piss all over the toilet.

Also, what a dumb catch-22. If you are the type of person who needs to hover over a seat because you are afraid of touching the rim with your bare ass, you are the reason pee is all over the toilet.