Anonymous Celeb: Elaine Carroll

If you haven’t peed your pants recently and are looking to, check out the videos on VeryMaryKate.com for some old-fashioned pants-peeing fun.

Comedian and “Very Mary-Kate” creator Elaine Carroll slaps on her baggiest kimono and poutiest face to give nearly pulseless, yet completely hilarious life to Mary-Kate Olsen. The videos chronicle the imagined minutiae of Mary-Kate’s day-to-day from Ashley’s pep talks –“Having a baby isn’t like making a movie or having a successful acting career or even making Forbes list of wealthiest people. Having a baby is hard.”– to chowing down on Xanax ‘n’ watermelon puree and pictures of English muffins. Elaine was kind enough to chat with Crushable about her college comedy roots, true feelings about all things Olsen, and rigid stance on the separation of pretzels and peanut butter.

How did a girl from Richmond, Virginia with a mega-sweet perm get into comedy?

When I got to college, four of my friends and I started this comedy troupe called Dutch West and we put all of our content online. (Author’s note: Check it out, DutchWest.tv. This ain’t your college boyfriend’s lame-ass all-male comedy troupe where they walk around in drag and call it funny. Or maybe that’s just my college boyfriend.) But really, I came from funny family, so comedy was always in the works.

Where do you hope comedy takes you?

Wouldn’t it be great if I could just have Tina Fey’s career? Or maybe Oprah’s career? Or just Oprah’s money? Or Oprah’s money and Tina Fey’s career?

How did you come up with this outrageously listless personality for Mary-Kate?

I saw the Olsens on an interview with Oprah and it quickly became really, really boring. Like at one point she asked them, “What do you guys have for breakfast?” and one of them answered, “Well, you know, I usually just have like a bagel.” They’re not particularly dynamic in anything that I’ve ever seen them do and I imagine them being really kind of boring and very low energy.

If you ran into MK on the street today, you would….

I would probably just gush over her, to be honest. I really am a big fan. I grew up watching Full House, so I kind of grew up with the Olsen Twins. I had their straight to video VHS tapes and everything.

I read that you don’t like Doritos. What about Combos?

There’s something about combining pretzels and peanut butter from the inside out just seemed a little bit disgusting to me.

Is or is not How the West Was Fun the crown jewel of the entire Olsen Twin oeuvre?

It is.

What’s up next for you?

I just shot a sketch comedy pilot for Fox called Naked But Funny. I have a small role in the upcoming film The Good Doctor starring Orlando Bloom. You can see me performing all the time at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in L.A .with the sketch group, The Space Program.

Holy impressive awesomeness! And if you’re not in L.A. and want some Elaine Carroll funny on the regular, there are new episodes of “Very Mary-Kate” posted every Monday.

Here’s one called “Moving Day”:

Very Mary-Kate, Episode 2 from Mary-Kate Olsen on Vimeo.

By Julie Kraut