Anonymous Celebrity: ‘Downtown Girl’ Shallon Lester

My co-author’s famouser than your co-author! (With words like famouser, why did she ever stop writing with me?) Shallon Lester and I wrote Hot Mess together. I remember writing the initial outline for the book with her sometime in 2005, the two of us sitting on my bedroom floor because I didn’t have much furniture. Well, flash forward a few years and here’s the update: I got more furniture and Shallon got a reality show!

Shallon and four of her friends are the stars of Downtown Girls, MTV’s newest reality series which premieres Tuesday at 11 p.m. The show follows the group as they make their way through New York City, chronicling their dating drama, careers, and at least one evening at Medieval Times.

Because of this interview, I finally got to ask Shallon all of the super-eager squealing fan questions I’d been dying to ask, but haven’t because I’ve been playing the What’s-The-Big-Whoop-My-Friend-Is-A-Reality-Star role. Not any more.

Ok, so what’s real and what isn’t? The friends? Jobs? Boobs? Tell me everything.

The friends are real. I couldn’t do a show where I pretend to like people. It’s not my strong suit. Everything is real. I will admit that I wear a padded bra in a few of the episodes. That is about it.

From the trailer, this show looks like a real life Sex and the City, but I know you’re not the “I couldn’t help but wonder” type. What do you think are the differences between your message and Carrie Bradshaw’s?

Carrie and company are about how you can have it all. And you can. You definitely can. You just can’t have it all at the same time. You have to focus on what you want. If you set your priorities on your career, like I did and like lots of my friends on the show did, you’ll look around and be like, “Why don’t I have a ring on?” You have to realize before you start beating yourself up, the girls who put love as a priority are looking around at their careers and going, “Why don’t I have a corner office?” It takes a while to get to the point where you can balance friendship, love, boys, work, independence. You’ve got to cut yourself some slack.

What are you most stressed about when it comes to being on television?

I’m a girl. I’m worried about how I’ll look. If my hair is going to look stupid. If my clothes are going to look stupid. It’s weird to put yourself on national television. It’s like, “Here I am world, come and judge me.” I’m worried that a lot of my humor isn’t going to translate. I’m really sarcastic. Some of the things that I say, I know that I’m joking and my friends know that I’m joking, but I can’t tell if someone watching it would know.

How do you think the show is going to affect your dating life?

It’s funny. I was with my friend Stacy London and I was like, “I just want this show to be on the air so I can meet a better caliber of guys.” And she’s like, “Shallon, if anything, this show isn’t going to help. You’re going to meet the most malignant, narcissistic, Hollywood douchebags you could possibly meet.” Fine with me. At least they’d be more interesting stories to tell than guys I’ve been dating.

What made you want to put your life on reality TV?

I’m a writer. I love it. I’d love to write books my entire life. If this show gives me more of a platform to sell those books and turn them into movies or TV shows, then that would be fabulous. (Author’s note: Hot Mess movie rights are available. Inquire within!) If this gets my writing out to more people, then, hey, I’m a happy girl. Also, I might get to meet Pauly D from Jersey Shore, which would be a huge plus! I’m not kidding.

Are you or your friends different on camera than you are in real life?

Unfortunately no. I really am the same person. I wish that maybe I had some sort of persona, to keep my real self separate, but I wasn’t that smart. So, if people don’t like me in the show, they don’t like me in real life. With my friends, I was really surprised. Some people if you put even a still camera on them, then all of the sudden, they turn really different. My friends were all authentic and real.

What’s up with the Medieval Times part of the trailer?

Well, I can’t divulge too much. I don’t want to spoil anything about Medieval Times, but let’s just say … oh gosh, I don’t know how much I’m allowed to say.

Let’s cut to the chase. Did the Green Knight win?

No, he did not. He didn’t win. It was a night we were celebrating. We’re a little unorthodox. So everything we do is a little unorthodox. Including the way we celebrate one of our friend’s biggest life achievements.

Before you were a Glamour blogger, and reality star, you were a gossip columnist for New York Daily News’s Rush & Malloy. What kind of bad behavior did you see in celebs that you’re going to avoid?

There are so many things that celebs lie about and deny for no reason. It’s like, “Did you make out with so and so?” If I did, I’d be like, “Yeah, I totally did. All night long. It was awesome.” They need to pick their battles. There are some who deny everything, like Lindsay Lohan. She’s never done anything wrong according to her publicist. It’s alright to be like, “I was so wasted and that’s why I was falling down.” You’re a movie star. You’re not running for Congress. Another thing that I’m going to avoid is being mean to the little people. The people who rat you out if you’re a celebrity, they’re not the director of the movie. They’re the caterer. They’re watching you be rude and mean and vile and cheating on your wife. It’s people who you don’t even notice — the car parkers, the coat check girl — they’re the ones who are ratting you out. You really need to be courteous to everyone. We would get a lot of things about Lindsay Lohan from coat check girls at clubs and barbacks. It’s funny, this one barback guy was like, “Everyone thinks I can’t speak English because I’m Hispanic, but I was raised in the Bronx. These people are going off talking about all the drugs they’re doing. They don’t think that I’m listening. And I wouldn’t have said anything if they hadn’t been so rude to me.”

Any final words as a normal person before you get wrapped up in the world of reality stardom?

I hope everyone likes it. I put my heart and soul into this thing. I’m as real and honest as I can be. I hope it gives a voice to the smart, funny girls out there. We all need to stick together instead of hating on each other.