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In this feature, Lilit digs out her Southern etiquette books and has a come to Jesus moment* with a celebrity.
Oh, January, honey. Now I know it’s hard when everyone seems to be calling for the death of your TV character lady and you’re just trying to stay out there and do your thing, but honey. These quotes I’ve been reading where you talk about girls picking on you because you were so pretty? That, my dear, is not how we gain sympathy. Telling other people we’re better than them in order to make ourselves seem like one of them? I understand that you might be too pretty for math but the numbers here simply do not add up. When all the women in my church group left me out of the important discussion about whether we were going to have chicken salad or tuna salad at the picnic, did I win their hearts by telling them they were being mean to me because I was too pretty? Even if that might have actually been the case? No. No I did not. I grinned and wore my best not-too-showy dress and got my hands dirty and went to work. I tore the best looking chicken pieces you’ve ever seen and made mayonnaise from scratch. Even Eleanor DuVall couldn’t find a problem with my chicken salad. You see? I did it by becoming one of them, not by saying they hated me for being better than them. You win by actually winning, not by announcing you’ve won.
And now this? You saying that “I’m really like a guy in a lot of ways” while bragging about how your screensaver is a picture of you with football players, both of whom happen to be married men?
Let me explain this to you: A man will not come over to your house with ice cream when you get your heart broken and that is a fact. You can like all the damned football in all the world, but the truth is that a man will not help you try on dresses in the fitting room and talk about what kind of support garment you can wear with that and come over to your house with pot roast the day that your mother goes to the hospital. And when you cut off all other women to say that you’re too pretty that you’re forced to hang out with men instead? There are words for that, darlin, and they are not nice words. A woman who doesn’t like other women is no kind of woman we want around these parts. So put on a pair of jeans and get to making some chicken salad already.
*A “come to Jesus moment” is sort of like an emotional intervention – it’s like when you sit someone down and give them harsh but needed life advice.
 | Gallery: A Look Back At January Jones And Jason Sudeikis’ (Brief) Relationship |
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Geez lots of haters out here for women who are just more comfortable around men. Take a deep breath and just chill…not every woman who prefers men is a b!tch or somehow suspect. Frankly friendships with women can often be, but aren’t always, high maintenance. Sadly women often secretly believe that resources (men, their looks, opportunities) are scarce, so you have to play this game of not taking up too many resources so other women don’t get mad at you. I wish more women would realize that there are plenty of men, plenty of opportunities and plenty of things you can do with your looks. These things aren’t scarce. Quit being whiny and get some gumption!!! Sure a woman might bring over ice cream for you and that might be nice, but God help you if she is suspicious that you are trying to outshine her in some way after the fact. Is it any wonder that some women prefer men? They are just easier to deal with. This all said, my hats off to the women who have wonderful relationships with their female friends. I have some that are truly gems. But I do see the other side here as well.
So you’ve taken one out of context quote from her and decided that this must mean that she hates women? Get a life.
Sing it . . . but I must say, I do adore January Jones. She is very, very pretty, and I’m sure there are plenty of women who didn’t give her a chance to know the sisterhood of female friendship due to petty, teenage jealousy, but you’re right. She’s thirty-something by now. Like her Mad Men character (who is far from dead, in my humble opinion), she might be expressing some childish self-pity here because, well, she has nothing else to whine about . . . and we all need a good cry now and then.
Also, I think it’s gross that both you and January think you gotta bend over backwards in order to be accepted. You by shutting your trap and submitting to their chicken salad oppression so that they would like you (or at least, open themselves up to getting to know you) and January by feeling the need to call herself a guy. No! Having stereotypically male interests doesn’t make her more “like a guy,” it simply means she’s not so much a stereotypical, swallowing her feelings, makin’ chicken salad girl. I’m all for trying to be agreeable and polite but I don’t support the insinuation that those church ladies deserved that chicken salad at the snap snap of their fingers or that January should mask her vagina so guy friends will stick around.
Awful advice. They do exist. I have my doubts that they would ever be friends with January Jones, but supportive males friends are out there. Maybe you won’t find all of those qualities in one male friend, but you can find them in several. And if you’re a girl who’s chosen not to make a habit of hanging with other girls, it doesn’t mean you’re a huge bitch or that you don’t live around cool girls. It means you’ve had enough bad experiences with girls’ girls to put you off of the whole thing entirely. The health of your friendships shouldn’t be determined by the gender of your friends. Would we be this pissy with a guy who only had female friends?
Okay, so I’m committing a horrible sin by not having finished reading this yet, but! But, my best friend is a guy (we’re both twenty-three, for that matter) and I was having a mental breakdown of sorts a month or so ago and he totally left his (tip-based job) early and brought over pints of ice cream, let me cry all over his shoulder, and didn’t complain when I chose television shows he doesn’t like.
Keeper, I know.
Anyway, I just wanted to say: they DO exist. They’re just rare, like unicorns, that’s all.
This is terrible advice. She’s strong and she is upfront about what she wants. The fact is that women are extremely bitchy to other women sometimes, especially to pretty women. The fact is that there are men who will bring ice cream around when a woman needs support. This reads like a second-rate pseudo-feminist manifesto.
The women who are most often bitchy to others are exactly the ones who moan about it. Have you ever tried smiling at another attractive woman? Or do you instantly imagine that she hates you as competition and the pair of you glower at each other from opposite ends of the room. Ultimately, you get what you give and it’s pretty hard to be bitchy to someone who’s friendly and smiley without looking like a nasty, stuck-up monster. You should try it.
RD, you sound fat.
hahahahahahahahahaha
FACT: Girls who say they don’t get along with other girls are huge bitches who think everyone is jealous of them. And/or they’re unfortunate enough to live in some horrible place where there are no cool girls to be friends with. I’m not sure where that would be, as I have met cool girls all over the world, but if you live there I feel sorry for you. Girls’ girls unite!
My husband’s mom told him never to go out with a girl who has no girlfriends, and I think that’s just about the best advice she gave him. If girls don’t like a girl, it’s not because she’s too pretty. It’s because she’s a bitch.
Ok, here’s the thing. I’m pretty. Really really REALLY pretty. But I was never picked on for it, cause first things first, I’m nice and caring. In fact, people can interact with me for months, then suddenly look at me one day and go, “wow, you are stunning.” But see how I am saying this anonymosly (can’t spell) on a blog? You don’t tell people how, “I’m awesome and beautiful and JUST LIKE YOU.” It doesn’t work that way. Whenever actresses say that, it is off-putting and annoying. Die Betty Draper, die!