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1. What is your drug of choice?
Grits. My mom mails me boxes of it from back home so I always have some around.
2. What’s your backstory?
I grew up in Raleigh, North Carolina. In college, I majored in English Literature and French. I came to New York after graduation. I had a really shitty assistant job while I was trying to get my writing career going, which inspired me to start a website called Save the Assistants. I still run it today.
3. Everyone has a “thing.” What’s yours?
My parents are hearing impaired and my first language was American Sign Language.
4. Everyone also has a karaoke song. Name yours (and don’t be shy).
“Since U Been Gone.” Since I’m a terrible singer and hate karaoke, the trick is to choose a song that a) everyone else will sing along with you and b) involves yelling.
5. Who are your biggest influences?
My grandmother (she died when I was in high school but was a huge influence on my life and is the reason I became a writer). Also, Margaret “Gretel” Bergmann. She was a high jumper on the German Olympic team in 1936 and was denied the ability to compete in the Olympics because she was Jewish, even though she was a medal favorite. There’s a new film out about her called Berlin 36.
6. What is it you most dislike?
I’m chronically on time for everything and can’t stand it when people are late. I mean, being a couple minutes late because you got stuck in traffic is one thing, but I once broke up with a guy partly because he was an hour late, minimum, whenever we had plans. If someone is really important to you, you’ll make sure you’re on time to see them.
7. Whose job would you like to steal?
I want to write Virginia Heffernan’s column in the New York Times magazine.
8. What was your best date?
I don’t really celebrate Valentine’s Day, and I’ve always told guys I am dating that they don’t need to get me anything. One year on Valentine’s Day, my college boyfriend and I went to see our favorite band (the late, great Jump Little Children). When we got home, he handed me a gift wrapped in cheesy heart-covered paper. I was ready to be annoyed with him for getting me something when I opened the box and found out it was full of treats for my dog. How could I not love a guy who bought a Valentine’s Day present for my puppy?
9. What was your worst?
He showed up at my apartment and then asked my roommate if she wanted to come along.
10. When I wake up in the middle of the night it’s because I’ve had a nightmare that I’m ___.
Already at work and have forgotten to do something. That makes it extra fun to then wake up, realize that I’m not actually at work, and then … go to work.
11. I feel my best when I’m wearing ___ .
A dress and flats.
12. Please settle the debate: New York or LA?
New York. I hate driving. I do think the Mexican food is better in LA, but that’s the only concession I’m willing to make.
13. What’s on your playlist at this very moment?
Beck’s “Que Ondo Guero,” The New Pornographers’ “The Bleeding Heart Show,” Dolly Parton’s “Last Night’s Lovin,” and The Violent Femmes’ “American Music.”
14. What are you watching on TV?
Lost pretty much owns me this season. Other than that, I’m hooked on Hoarders (it makes me compulsively clean my apartment), 16 and Pregnant, and Extras (which I just got on DVD).
15. If you alone held the power to pick a boyfriend for Jennifer Aniston, who would you pick?
Some normal not-famous dude from, like, Oklahoma or something. A guy who would be more interested in her than in fame or attention (cough cough John Mayer cough).
16. Given the chance, would you rather hang out with George Clooney or Robert Downey Jr.?
RDJ. He just seems hilarious. And if he wanted to bring Jude Law along so that they could have simmering sexual tension, that would be cool too.
17. If you were a character on any movie or TV show, past or present, who would you be?
Rory Gilmore – well, before she slept with Dean when he was married and stole a yacht or whatever that dumb storyline was about. But she had cute clothes and an awesome best friend, ate really great junk food, and had the coolest mom ever. And the whole town treated her like she was their very own magical sparkly pet princess.
18. What’s the last thing you think about before falling asleep at night?
I keep a book of Yehuda Amichai poems on my bedside table and try to read a few before I go to bed. They’re beautiful and give me nice things to think about while I’m falling asleep.
Lilit Marcus is Editor-in-Chief of The Gloss.
