Gallery: Gifts The President Has Already Been Given

He might not be able to stand up to the Republicans, but he can comfort an infant in five seconds flat.

Come and claim it, friend!

He's only the leader of the free world. NO BIG DEAL.

A lot of people think this was kind of a crappy present, but he's pretending to like it, which is classy of him, I guess.

Who doesn't like having their portrait drawn? He gets his drawn all the time, for free!

There are no words for this painting's magnificence.

Who doesn't like free hot dogs? People who hate our freedom, that's who.

It feels like being tickled by millions of tiny moonbeams while all the kittens in the world sing happy songs to you about the smell of cinnamon apple pie. Crossed with an orgasm.

I hope he enjoyed it as much as we would have.

Hawaii is fucking nice.

Sasha and Malia are bundles of delightfulness beamed down straight from heaven, and Michelle is the pretty smart girl you totally would have tried to talk to in AP Poli Sci if you hadn't been so busy trying to figure out the material, which was hard. I know, I know, like, barf on me already. But LOOK AT THEM.

Do you think the President has time to walk Bo everyday? Fuck no. But he does get to smoosh that face or play Frisbee with him whenever he feels down, and you can bet he takes full advantage of that. This is an ideal dog situation.

Do you ever get bored? Barack Obama doesn't! Here he is doing shit on a Saturday.

Each time a child shakes your hand, a little gift goes straight into your heart and makes you just a little bit happier for the whole rest of your life.

Silver foxes are totally hot!