Illustrated Event Report: I Went on a Trip to Italy, You Guys!

The only Italian words I learned were things that helped me order gelato. Fragola means strawberry. Lampone means raspberry. Caffe means, "Why yes, I will have ice cream for breakfast."

We went to Florence and saw Very Important Works of Art.

At night in Florence we found this weird outdoor club, and they made us become members before we could enter. The best band ever was playing! The knew how to work their instruments, almost.

We went to the Venice Biennale. There were some great pieces from artists like Seth Price and Llyn Foulkes, but a lot of the stuff was kind of terrible. The worst thing I have ever seen was this one work with a bunch of words scrawled on it, like the phrase, "Free thought is language yoga."

Knock it off, Art!

Have you ever eaten fried cuttlefish? No? Go remedy that immediately.

There were so many wonderful kids with great glasses. One of them yelled out, "Cool! Megacool!" I tried to take him home with me but had to leave him behind at customs.

There was a museum with weird old instruments. It was megacool.

There was a scorpion in our house on the last night. I was afraid to go see it. This is what a scorpion looks like, right? Mustache and all?